My Blog | Behind Every Great Man...

The Greater.

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Hi! My name is Ashley. I am 24 years old, and live in Okinawa, Japan! I have been married to my husband since 2010 and we have a gorgeous little girl together. This is my life. This is who I am, what I'm about, and exactly how boring it is.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Hush Little Baby, Don't Say A Word.

You've guessed it... she's sleeping. I've cleaned and have free time! It's a Christmas Miracle!

So... if you're a mother you might remember when baby is a newborn and just sleeps all day long. You have to wake them for feedings otherwise they'll sleep themselves into starvation. At least that's how Madison was. Well she's out of that stage. I bet my husband remembers me saying "I wish she'd be awake for longer during the day, I'm bored!" Yeah I take that back. Sleep. Sleep longer. Sleep more.

How the hell do you bitches do this!? No wonder breast feeding moms lose so much weight... we're to busy feeding them to feed ourselves! I have had a greek yogurt and a little carton of cottage cheese with pineapple. I have been awake for eight hours and am running off of yogurt and cottage cheese with a sliver of fruit. What. Thee. Heck.

I legit have to choose between cleaning and eating most days.... that is if I don't have to use the bathroom. Then I have to add that to my options. Lord forbid I have to go number two... (yes, it takes that long to go number two most days... another joy of postpartum recovery.) Then even if the house looks like a tornado with paw prints went through it I'm screwed. Bathroom and (if I'm lucky enough to have any) a bag of chips is all I get. But we're going healthier, so I pretty much get nothing but yogurt & cottage cheese w/ fruit all day until Mark is home to watch her while I cook dinner. Cooking has become my me time. Not even showering is me time... why? Because I'm lucky TO shower! I am so glad that it is winter and I don't have to be active... otherwise people probably wouldn't be able to stand within twenty yards of me without thinking I'm smuggling a dead body.

But, down to the good stuff. My sweet little baby butt. No, not my actual butt. Ain't nothing baby about  that thing yet-- can't work out yet! Here's hoping I get the okay tomorrow, though!! Madison is 5 weeks and 2 days old. Precious baby girl x3 She's starting to smile, too! Her favorite thing to smile at is when I say mama or dada/daddy :D You can tell she's trying to learn, too. She'll stare so intently as I'm talking to her, trying to figure out how the heck I'm doing that haha. She's starting to use little baby words, too. Not too many, just like two. Mostly when she's bored and I'm trying to have "me" time (yeah right, ME time haha okay!). She'll yell out a quick little "eh" or "na" sound here and there when she wants to be addressed :P

She also loves sitting in her little baby activity chair. 4 months and up my butt. I put that thing together last night and she sat in there happy as a clam for a good twenty minutes. She put on the BIGGEST smile I've seen, too, after I put her in. We would have stayed longer but I decided to get her out to do other things. This morning I put her in it again and she sat there for ten minutes, I went to take her out so she could eat and she yelled at me lol She didn't cry-- and it wasn't for food even though it was time for a feeding. She literally yelled lol I put her back in and boom. Happy baby once more. Apparently she's taking that 4 months and up they put on the box as a person insult/challenge. She's pretty good at holding her head up for the most part, but the back of the chair is so high for her right now it holds it forward enough so when she lets her head go back a little it stops it. Of course I'm right there if she loses control of her head, but other than that I really don't have to touch her. She's so biggggg! I'm really glad she likes that chair-- she's not a huge fan of tummy time so she doesn't do it nearly as often as she should. Whoops.

Oh gosh.. and she has a poop face. I think she got it from Mark. When she goes you can definately tell. It's rather loud xD Daddy is proud of the noises that come out of that bottom. I'm so glad I decided to breast feed... because I'm afraid of what that thing would smell like if it were made from forumla lol. I mean, it don't smell like cherry blossums, but it's a "sweet" kind of smell rather than a "OMFG WHAT DIED" kind of smell that I'm used to from when I worked with kids lol. Mark always makes this face when she goes in his arms... and she mimics it perfectly lol It kills me when she does it. She doesn't do it EVERY time, but she still does it pretty often. That being said... I cannot wait for the whole not pooping everyday thing to happen that BF babies have once they're a bit older. It should be starting here soon and I cannot wait. At first the little stinker would go EVERYTIME she was fed. That's every two hours during the day... no bueno.

Oh! And she's sleeping through the night already! I decided to stop waking her once she hit her birth weight (at her two week appointment). The pediatrician, of course, was all "oh no, keep waking her every two-four hours!" Uhm... yeah she doesn't want to eat every two-four hours at night. She wants to sleep. Much like her mother. So she usually gets her last feeding at 9, then we go to bed. She'll wake me up about 5 hours later, I'll lose my mind trying to get her back to sleep for about an hour and half, and then she'll wake me again about 4 hours later. Then 3 hours later... then I decide okay I guess we can wake up since it's 10 o'clock lol Momma is lazy and thankfully so is her baby :D But I fixed the curtains so she usually wants to be up for the day around 8am now... I guess I can deal with the normal 8 hours of sleep :P (she'll stay awake 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours after every feeding like a booger.) I'm unbelievably lucky to get what I DO get. I realize most babies, this young, will wake you up every 2-3 hours all through the night. Madison for the win!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Madison Brianna Justice

Madison Brianna Justice was born at 0839 November 13th, 2012 at Camp Lejeune Naval Hospital. She was 21 inches long, and weighed 8 lbs 1 oz. She had 5 little fingers, 5 little toes, and one perfect little face.

My baby girl is here. She is 2 weeks and 3 days old right now. In her swing after a feeding, giving out hiccups and fighting off sleep like a champ. I guess that seems like a good time to update my blog. That is, if she'll let me. She's currently cooing like she might have other plans, but we'll try.

I am a mom. My husband is a father. What the hell is going on!? How did we make her? How did we do that!? It's so strange to look at her and think that 10 months ago I didn't even know she was in there. Granted, she was barely in there, but she was there. The size of the tip of a pen. She was MAYBE a week into gestation, but she was there. 9 months ago she was nothing but a little pink line on a stick, and now she is a little pink and zebra print bundle with little pink zebra socks to match (well, if they would stay on her feet that is.) She's already grown nearly an inch since birth. She was down to 7 lbs 3 oz when we left the hospital (she was 3 days old when we left) and now she's already up to 8 lbs 7 oz.

Uht oh. Here comes the cry for for food. Well that was short lived. I guess I'll add more later lol

Friday, November 16, 2012

Now he's wrapper around her finger, she's the center of his whole world.

Guess what I can do? I can have a baby! And boy is it uncomfortable lol I'm still pretty set on waiting those 4 years. Mark would have me pop another one out in 9 months if he had his way, I'm sure lol.

I'm feeling lazy, duh. A lot going on, so I'll write more on this later in regards to after getting home and all that, but here is my labor story that I posted on a forum I'm a part of :)

Born November 13th, 2012.
She was 8 pounds, 1 oz & 21 inches long.

So, as some of you know, I made this thread (clicky) on Monday night. Most of that entire day I was having painless contractions starting at ten minutes apart and gradually getting closer and closer. I took a hot bath that night, and they were still running at 5 minutes apart. Since they weren't painful at all, I decided to get some rest and see how I felt when I woke up.

About 2:30am DH came to bed (Halo just came out a week before  ), got into bed, and pretty much right as he got comfortable I felt like something was going to happen. Almost like I was about to have a lot of discharge or a big ass chunk of my plug was coming out... which I had already lost so.... I got on all fours to get out of bed easier, said "I think something is about to happen...", stood up, and then said "Yep. Something is happening." I felt a pop, then a gush. Luckily I made it to the shower quickly so by the time it soaked through I was in there. Then it kept coming. Holy cow I didn't realize that I would be "peeing" myself for the next 17 or so hours. I thought you water broke and boom that was that o.O

So water broke, woke up DH (well, said hey "DH" lol since he had JUST closed his eyes), woke up momma, and we got our stuff together to leave. Got halfway to the hospital, and realized I forgot my purse at the house... yeah you need that lol So went back, headed to the hospital again and DH decided it would be the perfect time to fill up the tank. Whatever, contractions still aren't painful, just barely starting to feel anything with them now. Got gas, and THEN went to Naval.

They checked me, and I was admitted about 4-4:30am. I was still 1cm >:/

Once I was all IV'd and good to go they were pretty limited on my cervical checks, since my water had already broken, to reduce the change of introducing anything harmful and causing infection. That's when time started to fly by. They checked me around 7, and I was STILL only 1cm. By then my water had been broken for about 4 1/2 hours, so we went ahead and did a Foley Bulb. Half an hour later, plop, the foley bulb had fell out (which it's supposed to do, btw. They put weight at the end of it in order to manually dilated you. It's supposed to take you to 4 or 5 cm) So I was checked again, and yaaay I was at 4 1/2-5cm. They decided to check me again a few hours later... still a friggin 5 >:/ so we discussed pitocin. Since I wanted to go natural I was at a very low dose for a few hours. Checked again... STILL A FRIGGIN 5 >:( At that point the contractions had started to hurt but I was pretty content still with baring through them. As time went on it got worse and worse. I didn't have any more checks while they were upping the pitocin. After a few hours of low dose pitocin they checked and I still wasn't progressing. At all. Still a 5. So started slowly upping my pitocin level every half an hour. I couldn't take the pain anymore. About 4pm the pain was just too much, so I asked for a pain management IV. It took like fifteen minutes for my nurse to get the pharmacy to place the order, and it was going to take about 15-30 minutes for it to get to me. A few minutes after she came back and told me the order was in and it would be about 15-30 minutes the pain had pretty much double. I could. Not. Take. it. She was handling my contractions and the pitocin perfectly, like nothing had changed from when I first got there, but I was shaking pretty bad from the pain. I worried that I was putting too much stress on her since I had started hyperventalating with the contractions and my legs and hands had started going numb from it. Until that point, I was perfectly content taking the pain. I could not take 15-30 more minutes of that. I asked how long it would take for the epidural to be put in and she said she could get somebody to me within ten minutes because there was only one other mother in labor at the time and she already had hers. I couldn't do it. I asked for the epidural and dreaded every minute it took to get to me. All like five minutes of it lol. So... little ole "I'm TOTALLY doing it natural, no doubt" me said fuhkit and got the Epidural. For those of you who plan to go natural, do NOT be me. Inform yourself. Read about it. If you swear up and down you 100% aren't getting it, read up on it anyway. I was 100% confident in that I would not get the epidural. If I hadn't been in labor for so long, if I had actually progressed, I feel like I could have... but I was in pain for just way too long for me to take. I got the Epidural and was able to take a nap. Around 7 o'clock they did a shift change. By 7:15pm I had my new nurse, and a LOT of pressure. I was checked, and I was fully dilated, and she was pretty low but my nurse thought I would be pushing for awhile if I started now, so she helped me elevate myself a little to help drop her more before I started pushing. My new nurse was with me for all of fifteen minutes? before I told her, Nowp, I need to start pushin'. She wanted me to wait until the pressure was consistent, even without contractions, but they were too strong during the contractions for me to stop, so I decided to risk pushing for longer and get the ball rolling. I started pushing around 7:45pm. They thought for sure, before I started pushing, that I would be pushing for at least a couple hours. By the third push every contraction I was REALLY out of breath, but I was making a lot of progress with every push. I was able to watch with the mirror once she started to crown, which really helped me to focus. Hooolly hair. Everywhere. (but not on me, I commented on how well a job I did shaving and gave myself a pat on the back between contractions lol) Between contractions we would talk and all that, it was really a great experience. I wasn't able to count how many times I had to push, and I forgot to ask somebody else. Whoops. A little less than an hour of pushing-- at 8:39pm she was here. Apparently my Ritz Carlton of a vagina that Madison didn't want to come out of was fully stocked with an awesome security staff for those troublesome guests who don't want to leave :D

I tore on the inside, I think I heard second degree? in three different spots. I've had a total of oh IDK 6 hours of sleep since she was born and honestly, while year I'm a little tired, I'm pretty content getting three hours of sleep a night lol As far as after delivery, Camp Lejeune actually has pretty good food lol Their scrambles eggs look a bit sketchy, but I'm not much for eggs anymore anyway so noo biggy :P I had this awesome chicken for lunch one day... couldn't cut it with the plastic knife, so I had to use my teeth to just bite it, but it was still really good lol And then I had Veal Parm for dinner after that. AH MAH GAHD it was soooo goooddd lol 

Breastfeeding is going pretty good, I think. She lost 5% of her birth weight, so that's good, she's getting enough. It just hurts. Her bottom jaw goes in quiet a bit compared to where her top lip is so she's having trouble keeping at good latch... hurts like a mofo for me, but ultimately if she's getting what she needs I can bare the pain until we work through figuring out getting her a good latch. She always tries to sleep during feeding. Even if she is awake for awhile beforehand the second she's on the boob, boom, sleep. I have to constantly wake her >:/ She doesn't really cry, and when she does it's only for like... sixty seconds or less yaaaaay. She sleeps. A lot. The pediatrician said she didn't seem jaundiced at all, but the nurse said she thinks she is so idk I think she's a little yellow, but nothing crazy IMO. She hasn't had her "marathon" feeding yet. When she eats it usually ten minutes a side, or sometimes she'll get froggy and go 15-20 on one and then fall too deep asleep for me to go to the other side.

I'm getting in my upper body work out lol My lateral muscles (sides) and my triceps (granny flap lol) are sooo sore from me lifting myself up out of chairs and the bed. and my butt is sooo heavy after sitting for awhile. The doctors were fairly surprised at how fast I was up and walking around, though. The first time they came in the guys was visibly shocked that I was up and about lol My butt hurts too much if I just sit or lay there, so I gotta get up! lol My feet are swollen like a mofo, I have no ankles, and my calfs are pretty swollen, too. I didn't think my hands were swollen, but I just tried to put my rings back and and no dice. Couldn't go over the middle knuckle lol

So yeah... I think that's the whole story... I keep getting distracted (not by her, she's been sleeping this whole time lol As usual.) Now lets hope this booger wakes up for me and eats >_>

Monday, October 15, 2012

Have you seen the Ghost of John...

long white bones with the flesh all goooooneeee wooahhaoooaahhooohohhhoh. Wouldn't it be chilly with no-skin-on-BOO!
That was always my favorite song to sing in elementary school around halloween :P

I have been a home owner for two years, and have yet to convince Mark to let me decorate. Until this year! Yaaay! Thanks to a few friends, but hey it got the job done. Houston, we have pumpkins! We went to a place in town called Mike's Farm. Hiiighly recommended. If you're in Jacksonville, to drive straight past Ellis airport and it'll be on your left. They have an amazing restaurant as well that is open every so often. I would assume they are in season right now so the weekends they should be open more often than the other times of year. In total, we got three large pumpkins, and one Madison pumpkin ❤ I'm not sure if I'm going to carve them so they're just sitting out on my porch for now, chillin. I might just find some glow puff paint and decorate them that way. I was going to make a cute little pumpkin family, but lets face it... I am not going to sit down and do all that lol I fully intended... just like I fully intend to do all that other stuff I've got pinned.

And (unfortuately) this year, Mark won't be able to take leave for Christmas so guess who gets a christmas treeeeee. THIS GIRL! Ahh I'm so excited. We'll be gone for New Years, instead, since the Marine Corp is ridiculous and expects us to be back ON christmas day if we take Christmas leave... I repeat: ridiculous.

And about that baby. I am 36 weeks along now, and definately feeling it. I cannot even turn over in bed without feeling like my pelvis is going to rip in two. Walking sucks. Bending over sucks. Everything except sitting in this recliner being a lazy SOB sucks. I am sooo over all of this-- but my momma will be here at the end of next week so storm troop on, little lady! I cannot WAIT for the help she'll be able to put in before and after Madison gets here. To end this on a positive note: I can eat chicken again without wanting to throw it back up! Winner winner chicken dinnerrr!!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends...

& Pinterest ;D

I was skimming pinterest, waiting for the call to head to base to pick up my husband after two & a half weeks away at training (woohoo!), when I came across this:

The Fun Cheap or Free Queen: "You're Welcome" Wednesday tip: Keep your house cl...

Amaaaazingg! I mean, I know it's simple, I know you could have probably thought of it yourself... but lets be honest-- did you? No. So shut up and pay attention ;)

Basically it's a go-to list for how to keep your home looking guud on a daily basis without having to clean everything on a daily basis. I know that I'll have to add vacuuming more than twice a week, especially not going the weekend without it; my dog seems to forget that hair is supposed to be on him, not all over my house in ever nook, cranny, crevice, and open area visible and invisible by the naked eye.

I looked over the list and honestly-- apart from vacuuming, dusting, and the occassional surface clean I RARELY do any of the others. I loathe laundry. It doesn't mention dishes though-- but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to do those every day (not that I do lol)

You're welcome :)

Update on the little bloomin' lovey-- I'm 33 weeks today :) My anxiety has sky rocketed, though I'm sure it's because Mark has been gone since the beginning of the month. Exhaustion is hitting me like a ton of bricks, but if I stay on my feet I'm fine. Only problem with that? When I'm on my feet for a long period of time my sciatic nerve starts looking mighty appealing to my uterus and one false move and I'm being stabbed in the ass by a pinched nerve. Yaaaaay pregnancy!

 It is so crazy (& nerve wracking) to think that in less than two months Madison will be sleeping in my arms or (hopefully) latched onto me like a leech. I cannot wait to see her. Every time I see a little girl out in public, or roaming across the internet I wonder what Madison will look like. It's the worst when it's a little girl that looks like she COULD have came from Mark and I's genes... especially that adorable little girl on the pinterest little girls hair tutorial pin... gets me every time.

She has the hiccups nearly every night, now. You can see my belly move with each one. She doesn't kick nearly as much, but boy does she shake her booty like a little Shakira lol It makes me smile thinking that how close she is to me-- but it feels like I'll never get to have her in my arms. It's too far away. But it's also way too soon. We still haven't even begun finishing the nursery. I haven't really done much of anything since I put her closet together. Fashion first, right? ;)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Wake me up when September Ends.

Yes, I went there on you. I went to Green Day.

I woke up at 5:30am this morning. Why, you ask? Because I had the pleasure of dropping my husband off at his squadron so he could leave me for two and a half weeks >:/ He'll be in Colorado until the end of the month and I get to hang out here, by myself. Including on my birthday. But there is hope... my aunts are sending me homemade fudge. A batch of chocolate with walnuts and a batch of Peanut butter. Ah mah gahd I'm so damn excited to get that delivery.

I already got two birthday presents :) My mom got me closet organizers for the baby's nursery and a glider. She said there was two more packages after I got the organizers, but I'm thinking maybe she thought the glider would come in two parts-- the chair & the ottoman.

In the next week or two I'll be ordering the dresser, and then the following payday the armoire :) Then all we need to do is hang curtains and get the mobile. The crib was still in processing for another week, otherwise it would have been here this week. Hopefully those bitches email me again soon saying it's being shipped out. I'm not terribly worried about it getting here after the baby. I plan on having her sleep next to the bed until I get used to her feeding schedule, anyway.

I think after this I'm going to try and fix the night light I used as a child. It's a little bear in a a blue sleeping gown with stars on it. I just have to remember where I put it lol I think it's in our closet, but when I looked yesterday I didn't see it. It's in some closet somewhere in this house, that's all I know.

My best friend came to visit me last week. She left Tuesday. We had tons of fun, and I found her a man... well I pointed her to one. She chose the one standing next to him haha. We went to the beach, the aquarium, and bought her anti-nausea medicine when she was hangover for an entire day lol. Oh, and then I almost made her miss her flight so we ended up FedExing her luggage. Whoopsies! She's already making plans to come back when Madison gets here :)

So here I am. 30 weeks 4 days pregnant, chillin' with my two dogs, watching a lifetime movie about a pregnant 15 year old, my husband two time zones away, and doing light cleaning to kill time between facebook game recharging. Oh the life of a military wife.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

It's Been Awhile...

Since I blogged :-o

Sorry I went AWOL! It's been nearly two months since I posted. A lot has been going on, and frankly I didn't have the heart to write. Too much too say and not enough will power to do so.

I'll start on the negative note. Under two months ago, the main reason I've been putting off posting, something devastating happened. We were on leave for the 4th of July, in Florida. We stopped on the 29th of June in Orlando to see DH's family. We were supposed to stay the whole weekend, but only ended up staying for the night and then taking off the very next morning, probably about 45 minutes after waking up.

I woke up on the 30th and had several missed calls on my phone. Not a good sign. Well, I called my sister and found out the last thing I expect to hear. My grandmother had passed. She wasn't the healthiest of people, being overweight, but she wasn't sick. She had woken up early that morning, and collapsed. It seems so unreal, even now, that she isn't there. More than unreal, it's probably one of the hardest things I had to accept that she would never hold my little girl. She had been waiting for another girl in the family for sixteen years. She was sooo happy when I told her that I would be having a girl. It kills me that Madison will never truly know my grandmother. Her great grandmother.

Now lets try and get a bit more positive. Officially, as of today, I am now in the third trimesterrr!! Yaaay! Her nursery is (almost) painted. There's just a little spot left where Mark ran out of paint :) The crib is on it's way, as is the bedding and changing table! And the room is pretty stocked full of everything we will need, because guess who got a surprise baby showerrr? This girrrlll :P

So, I went to Ohio earlier this month. Funny story, I had an anxiety attack on the damn plane. Yep, that would happen to me. First one this entire pregnancy, worst one I've ever had, scared the ever-loving shit out of me. BUT, it was quick and I felt fine right afterwards, so they let me fly on. Last time I'll fly in a very long time, though, I'll say that much. Pregnant or not. Obviously I'm not flying any more while pregnant, though lol. I couldn't even if I wanted to. So I landed in Ohio, drove to my grandmother's house (I think I'll always call it her house...) to be greeted by the family who was supposed to be there, no biggie. But, look around? Decorations, "Its a Girl!", and a corner of the living room swamped in presents wrapped in paper with pictures of rattles, bows, and baby feet ♥ I got nearly everything on my registry. I'm so grateful that everybody was so generous. I knew she would be spoiled but goodness, this baby girl will want for nothing. I can see it now lol.

So, that's about what I've got going for me right now. Finally, I updated this. Hopefully I can keep everybody posted more from here on out now that I got all of this out of the way.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

No, seriously. Do it. I know you've got more.. Yes more. Because I JUST felt her kick!!

Okay, that's really all I have to write about... I just wanted to document it lol

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Don't Stop Believing.

So, now that Mark and I know what is going on, I feel comfortable sharing this with everybody who wasn't aware anything was evening wrong.

A month ago I was flagged for Trisomy 21. That is how we found out Madison was a girl at 17 weeks rather than during my original 20 week scan we had scheduled; we needed an ultrasound to narrow down the likelihood that Madison would be born with Down Syndrome. Going into the geneticist we were told that from my blood test they had noticed an abnormally large presence of one of the four hormones that are released during pregnancy. With what they saw, they put Madison in a 1 in 40 chance for Down Syndrome. After speaking to the geneticist we were sent for the second tier; an ultrasound. Everything measured perfectly, but there were two soft markers. Soft markers are common finding in babies with Down Syndrome. The first soft marker was a Choroid plexus cyst in the baby's brain. This would not affect the baby's brain, and they are found in perfectly healthy babies. They typically go away on their own. They also found a dark spot in the heart, typically they are calcium build ups. Also, the baby's heart would not be affected by this, and perfectly healthy children have this as well, but it is a soft marker. These two soft markers brought her chance of being born with Down Syndrome to 1 in 20.

After that we were sent into a consultation room. We were told about the soft markers, and asked if we had decided if we were going to go ahead with Amniocentesis. Amnio testing does have a risk of miscarriage, I had already researched it, and I was not okay with that so I declined immediately. Earlier in the appointment we were told about a test, MaterniT21. It was another blood test. They would take my blood, thus no potential for harm to the baby, and from that they could find DNA from the baby to count chromosomes. It is 95-99% effective in diagnosis Trisomy 21, more towards 95% for Trisomy 18, and about 65% for Trisomy 13. They weren't concerned about 18 or 13, just 21, so I agreed to have that test done. I was told it would take two weeks for the test results to come back, and they did. Today.

Today I got a call. The area code was Wilmington, where my appointment was, so I knew exactly what they were calling to tell me. They were calling to tell me whether my baby was going to be born with Down Syndrome or not.

On or around November 11th, 2012 I will have a baby girl. Her name will be Madison Brianna J. and she will be beautiful and 100% healthy. I nearly cried on the phone, but I pulled it together. The tests came back negative for all forms of Trisomy. She will be a normal, healthy baby girl. I felt in my heart that everything was fine, but it feels so much better to have that reassurance.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Give Me All Your Luvin'

Say hello to Madison Brianna. Yep, you got that right, it's a girl! We found under unfortunate circumstances, which I'm not going to discuss with anybody other than those who are already aware of the situation, so please do not press the issue. I will not talk about it right now. Soon enough, people. Soon enough. I will say that the ultrasound went very well, all things considered. She is measuring exactly where she should be.

More good news: I don't feel like hell anymore! Hip hip horray! I've cleaned the house like 3 times this week... that's every other day... that's like 2 times more than usual. And 3 times more when I was in the middle of Morning Sickness hell. My house is now clean on a daily basis... that deserves a drink-- oh wait.

I haven't thrown up in at least two weeks. As long as I stay away from too much dairy, and little to no eggs or chicken I'm good to go.

In under three weeks I'll be getting another ultrasound, in Florida, with my family. My mother is getting us a 4D ultrasound, which I'm super excited about. I love seeing her move around, which she does. Alot. I just pray that she stays a she!

I'm also feeling her move on a daily basis. Not big moves, just kicks-- mostly after food because apparently I'm growing a porker. A butthole of a porker, too. Daddy's chili? Kick. Momma's taco pie? Nada.... an hour after Momma's taco pie she grabs applesauce and THAT makes her happy. Really!? Whatevs... guess somebody is already a Daddy's Girl. I will win her over with kisses, and hugs, and clothes when the time comes. Your days are numbered, Daddy.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

Just kidding, please don't. I can't take much more.

Today is day THREE of not feeling like shit. I feel like a damn lottery winner after this past Sunday/Monday. 13 weeks hit me like a ton of bricks. I threw up twice Sunday night, woke up Monday and had to call in because I was on the verge of throwing up every time I so much as blinked the wrong way. I couldn't keep ANYTHING down the entire day. I had to resort to sleeping the entire day, especially RIGHT after eating (which is supposed to be a no-no) so I fell back asleep before I could throw up.

BUT... I had a headache Tuesday night, and that was that. Nothing yesterday, nothing today :) Well besides my new symptom: Who the fuck didn't warn me that I would be stabbed in the tit on occassion throughout the day!? But... that's better than nausea from sun up to sun down. I was able to clean the whole house yesterday, and today I put up new blinds in the bathroom since Mark is too lazy to do it :P Well that and he's too busy picking up my slack lol He's been a real go getter ;D He'll do the dishes, laundry, AND bing fuckin' boom he COOKS!? He drinks every day, but I'll take that as a small price to pay for him being a motivator :P But, remember, I cleaned yesterday! He still cooked, but that's not the point xD

Oh, and he's buying a go kart today. Lord help our back yard. Lord help our poor puppies. And Lord help this baby because I'll be damned if I ain't test drivin' that thing! Keep your "You're pregnant, don't do that, it's baaaad" comments to yourself. It's a go kart. In my back yard. Nobody is going to hit me, I'm not going to be doing sweet jumps, and if the thing flips hell hath frozen over.

So yeah, that's my update about the ever so lovely world of pregnancy. After two months of misery (I was fine the first month) things are looking bright again! I'm feeling better, I'm finally starting to look more pregnant than fat, and my husband is good for more than impregnating some lazy chick with an obsession with flavored water & starches.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

You're Mine To Love

9 Week Ultrasound
Houston we have A baby! I'm dumb, and forgot to ask what the heart beat was, but if I had to guess it was right around 150 bpm, but thats a guess from when the sound was fresh in my mind. Honestly, I still have the approx. speed in my head and the ultrasound was a week ago :P

Unfortunately, Mark couldn't make it. He had to go to a post & relief ceremony and carry a flag around (apparently his shop felt he was the best fit for this... even when he had this appointment on the board for THREE weeks, switched to days so he could come, and even more so than the guy who had done it before and knew exactly what he was doing... but that's another story.) So yeah, he was not happy that he missed it, but again, like I said, another story.

My official EDD is November 11th (2012). The day after my mom & stepdad's anniversary. It's so strange because SO many significant dates in our relationship have lined up with the same or other significant dates with their relationship.

So I'm now 10 weeks and my "ahh mahh gaaah" has settled down a lot lately. Yaay for baby taking care of it's own hormones and leaving mine alonee!! Now I'm not a sick bitchy lazy ass. I'm just a lazy ass... Okay I'm still bitchy too.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

You've got a (zofran) in me.

I cannot wait until my first prenatal appointment. I'm not sure which reason is bigger for me, though... seeing my baby for the first time or getting some drugs for this God forsaken nausea. It's baaad. For the past three days (though it seems like FOREVER) I have been miserable. Sleeping all the time, because the longer I'm awake the sicker I feel. No matter what I eat nothing helps. I can't smell certain things without wanting to punch them in the face, everything anybody does annoys the piss out of me, and I just want this first trimester to be over so that maybe I can finally function for longer than an hour a day. Week six was not a great week for me. Today I should be at or darn near close to my 7 week mark. Only 5 more weeks of first trimester "bliss" yaaaaaay. Can you sense the sarcasm? I always thought I would love being pregnant... that I would feel great, alive, wonderful, happy. Nope, I feel shitty, dead, crappy, and all around exhausted. Even typing this is exhausting. So yeah, I think that's enough of an update for now... excuse me while I internally combust.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

&& I was like baby, baby, baby, oh!

5 weeks. That's how far along I am. I'll be six weeks in three days. Our baby's heart is probably pumping blood right now. This week is when it divides into chambers and starts to pump blood. He's the size of an appleseed right now... no more than a little tadpole... but last week he was the size of a seasame seed, so that's a pretty big improvement I'd say! lol. And yes, I said he. I'm just going to refer to "it" as a he for now. I kind of feel like that's what it is anyway. As much as I want a little girl for my family to spoil first, I really feel like it will be a boy. Which is actually a bit unfortunate for my decorating side as well. I really want to do a Snow White themed nursery. Not literal snow white everywhere... I hate that stuff. But the colors. Red walls with white polka dots as a focal wall, behind the baby's crib. Then an iron crib with white & yellow bedding. a blue gliding reclining chair. White bookcase with lots of red & blue accents. Splashes of yellow thrown here and there. Uhg I can see it, it's gorgeous... now so see if my intuition changes lol. I think for a boy I'll do a grey & orange room with a very colorful mobile. No matter what gender the mobile will be a rainbow of bright colors, for sure.

Oh! Logan wont be our boys name anymore. Mark's stepsister had her baby two months ago or so, and we just found out that was what she named her son. I have another name in mind that we both like, but I'll stick to telling that one to a select few just incase lol

I haven't been lightheaded since those last two days, thankfully. But the exhaustion and lack of motivation is a really killer. All I want to do all day is sit around and do nothing. Hell I wanted to play video games yesterday and I didn't because I didn't want to have to move from the computer chair to the dang sofa! Hopefully this doesn't last too terribly long. I would love to get back to the gym... yeah lets face it the gym probably wont happen anymore lol.

Off the topic of baby (*le gasp!*) We finally got our new dishwasher installed!! It's soooo quiet, it's actually a rather soothing sound. Like running/bubbling water. I've used it twice today already... but not because I wanted to (which I also did...)... because I've been too lazy to hand wash. FAIL.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I've been waiting for this moment for all of my life, Oh Lord.

Mark has been home for a little over a month so needless to say, we've been a bit busy. He got home on the 3rd, we had family in town until about the 10th, and then we left NC to go to FL on the 14th. We were then in Florida until the 27th of the month. So that leaves about a week of me sitting here selfishly neglecting my blog. What. The. Heck. But... I think I might have an excuse as to why I was so negligent.


Yes, bitch, I said we're.. Don't be one of the feminist morons that gets butthurt when people say that because it's my vagina and I'll share it's glory with whomever I so choose.

I took my first PT on March 2nd and it was negative. I figured, "oh well, better luck next time" and went about my day. I didn't care that it was a BFN (big fat negative). Well saturday morning hit me like a ton of bricks. Saturday was better, but something still felt different. I've been SUPER gassy, tired all the time, and holy poop was I hungry. All the time. Fast forward to monday afternoon. We woke up late, so I figured, okay slept too much, me dumb. Well i had to pee, not even first morning's pee, and figured "well I've got two pregnancy tests left... why not". HOLY SHIT SIXTY SECONDS LATER THAT BITCH HAD TWO LINESSSSSS!! I called my sister, then she three way called my step dad. After that we tried to tell my mom with my step dad but she was sick so I had to wait until the following day... which was HARD. I already told the world and I haven't even had my first appointment yet lol whoops. I couldn't hold it in.

Oh, and I thought I felt weird then? Holy bitch sticks early pregnancy is ridiculous. My vagina is stealing all my blood flow so I'm in a constant "out of body" sort of light headedness. Not dizziness or anything, but still light headed nonetheless. I've had light cramping, nothing too major just menstruation-esq, but more frequently because I never cramp while I'm on my period. Showering helps, but sleeping helps more :D :D :D I cannot get enough sleep lol in fact, I think I'll probably take a nap here soon lol I can't even keep a straight train of thought how tired I am. All. The. Time. So yeah, I'm just going to stop here. YAAAAAY I HAVE A BABY GROWIN MY BELLYYYY. Okay now I'm done.

Friday, February 3, 2012

I think this post will be pretty self explanatory...

Oh, how sweet February truly is.

How wonderful life is, now you're (back) in the world.

I think this entry will be pretty self explanitory...

Oh, how sweet February is.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

It's the final countdown...

and I couldn't be freaking out more if I tried.

Last week was Mark and I's last skype date. The next time I see his face it will be walking towards me from across the flight line of VMM-263's hangar on Marine Corp Air Station New River. I am mere days away from finally being able to touch my husband again. For the first time in over ten months I will be with him again... ahh I don't know where the time went, but frankly I don't care. All I know is that the time is gone and now a better time is here. The rush of homecoming drawing near is something I love and hate all at the same time. Emotions are extremely high-- everything you do makes you cry. Makes you think "in X Amount of Days he will be right next to me while I watch my shows." "in X Amount of Days he'll be dragging me to get instead of these late nights." "in X Amount of Days I will be waking up along side him, rather than alone." In X amount of days I will be writing about having my husband back beside me-- I will be posting a picture of me in his arms instead of his ten month bromance with my friend's husband (and my husbands best friend.) It's so surreal, and I am loving every tear jerking minute of it.
My body has progressed so far since he has left, and that is one of the biggest things I am looking forward to... seeing the look on his face when he realizes he came home to not only his attractive wife... but now that attractive wife has a bangin' body to boot! I mean, every guy who deploys can't wait to come home to their wife, even though usually the put on a little weight during deployment. None of them expect to come home to Wifey 2.0. The big ass is still there, but that waist!? What waist? And that tummy! How is he going to impregnate that?? He just got home, just saw this flat stomach with abs, and now he's going to ruin it by giving me a watermelon bell? lol But don't worry, I'll rape him if I have to... a baby WILL be in me within the next three months if I have anything to do with it.

So, this will be the last blog I make until he is homeeeeeeeee. Everybody know "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sunday, January 15, 2012

I dare to let me you're one and only.

It's Peanut Butter honey time! Before Mark left he would ask me to make them for him before bed on occasion. I would never make one for myself, but as soon as I handed it to him I would give him those puppy dog eyes and ask for a bite. Never failed... he'd sink his shoulders down, huff, and then give in. Then he'd complain that I took too big of a bite and call me a fatty. Ahh those were the days xD Ever since he's been gone I have a sandwich at least once a month. I'll crave something sweet, and since I'm dieting that's a great go-to. It's healthy, and I rarely carry anything sweet in the house because I know I'll eat it all at once lol. But that's not the main reason I eat them. They make me think of him. I added chocolate chips tonight because I was weak. Best decision ever.

So, what's been going on with me besides getting fat? Well, I've made my deployment goal!!! That's right folks, I have lost I have went from 149 pounds to 130!! I am so proud of myself, but more importantly I am so looking forward to showing Mark the progress I've made. I know that he loves me just the way I am/was, but I really wanted to do this for him. He does so much for me and I really wanted him to come home to not only his wife, but his wife with a smokin' hot body. I've sent him pictures of my progression along the way (I couldn't resist) and he's pretty excited to see it up close if you know what I mean ;D haha
When will he see that smokin' hot body, you ask? Sooo soon! He will be home in next month! Obviously I can't say EXACTLY when, for OPSEC reasons. That's about as specific as I can be for now.

I didn't get everything I wanted done while he was gone, but I got a good bit done. My hair isn't long like I planned on it being (I cut it short after he left to get it out of my system) but I love it anyway. I'm sure it'll grow on him as well, and I'm growing it out anyway so no biggie. He'll be butt-hurt but I don't care :P I got a good bit with the house done. I added a small bookshelf to the kitchen to make it less bare- along with hanging frames in there and throughout the rest of the house. I got some new chairs for the living room, a new bedspread for our bedroom, a new end table for our room, and mounted our 60 inch TV to the wall, so now what we were using as a TV stand is full of decor. I also bought the computer desk I'm sitting at right now and decorated that. Oh and the chair I'm sitting on. I got rid of our old recliner to make room for the two new chairs. So our living room still has the same bones as far as where everything is, but it's just been upgraded :) I can't wait for him to come home so we can pick out a master bedroom furniture set, and a new sectional.

But, what I REALLY can't wait for when he comes home is pretty damn awesome. It's BABY MAKINGGGG :D No, not the "I haven't had sex in 10 monhts, lets do this shit" baby making. Actual baby making. We'z gon' have a baaaybeeee :D I am so ready for this I cannot even begin to elaborate. Every day, almost everything I do, babies. It's all I can think about. Hell, I started taking pre-natals two months ago because I'm so obsessed with the fact that we will be starting a family soon. We have a lot of money saved up from Mark's reenlistment that will take care of the things that we wouldn't have been able to splurge on without so I am so excited to watch our saving account slowly decrease in size and going towards a crib, stroller, carseat, and oh mah gawd the clothes & shoes!! Every time I pass up our second bedroom I just picture opening the door to a fully loaded nursery baby and all. I am so happy that it will hopefully be my turn to complain about morning sickness, scream IT'S A ___ from the top of my lungs, not see my toes anymore, and finally hold a baby in my arms. HIS baby. I cannot wait to see him looking down, into his arms, at our baby.

It's almost over. I almost have my husband back. I almost have my reason for waking up in the morning. I almost have my bed time enforcer. I almost have my best friend.

Friday, January 6, 2012

We wish you a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year.

Okay that was the lamest title I have ever had. BUT IDGAF :D

We are so close to the end of this god forsaken deployment I can taste it's sweaty ballsack! Nice visual, eh? I can officially say he comes back next month and it feels amazing knowing that I am so damn close to seeing him again. plans are all laid out for our visitors. My mom will be here the before to help me prepare the house, get it spin-n-span and whatnot. His Aunt will be here two days after my mom gets here, and then bing bam boom homecoming is two days later. Holy shit balls. So right now I'm just making sure I can get heres and theres settled in so that everything is as good as possible when Mark gets here. Today I plan on going to Lowes and/or Petsmart but judging from the mood I'm in right now I do not see that happening. Thank you, Aunt Flo.

Auto is a a douche bag, btw. He broke his damn run again. So I've been having to go outside with him to make sure he doesn't escape. Okay yeah I am definitely going to Petsmart today. Probably here soon after I stop writing this. Writing out that I have to go outside with him reminded me how much I am not going to enjoy it the next time I have to, so I WILL go to damn petsmart to get him a damn line. Uhg my dog is satin incarnate. Maybe I'll even muster up the courage to drive to the next parking lot and see what Lowes has to offer me :) I really want to paint the living room.. like so bad. and I have a gift card o.O fml the choices of life are so damn hard! Okay fuck it, I'm going to paint my living room.