Saturday, March 30, 2013

Thirty Things I Want You To Know.

So I was going through pinterest and ran across this List.
30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me

So... here we go :) Hopefully I can finish this before Madison wakes up lol

The List.
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
  • My maiden name is Cook. My mothers- Fallis. Her mothers- Haines.
  • I was 20 when your father and I got married.
  • I was 23 when I had you.
  • We actually planned you- score!
  • I graduated with honors & a 75% paid tuition scholarship. And was still dumb enough not to use it. I regret it every day.
  • Probably TMI, but your father was my first, and I his. (hopefully that doesn't scar you...)
  • I didn't go to my senior prom.
  • Dad and I started dating my senior year
  • You dad and I were married in Jacksonville, NC.
  • We had you, 2 years & 9 months later in Jacksonville.
  • I'm originally from Cincinnati, OH. (Cleves/Harrison to be exact.)
  • Moved to Naples, Florida the summer before 6th grade.
  • I hated that place until I left.
  • We will be moving to Okinawa Japan in 4 months, when you are 8 months old. We will be there for 3 years.
  • Auto was how you dad proposed. He asked on Auto's dog tags the day after we got him.
  • Diesel was supposed to be Daddy's dog... but he liked me more :) Auto became daddy's boy.
  • I worked in a gyms childcare from 16 years old until I was 3 months pregnant with you. I took a year break in there when I first moved to Jacksonville in 2008. I also took a few months break to work with kids at a community center when I was 17.
  • I don't mind that you look just like your dad, because you have his eyes. But you still have my cheeks!
  • My favorite kids movie is and always will be Toy Story. I will strive to make it yours as well.
  • No matter how amazing a job you think I am or am not doing raising you, I will always think I should have done better.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
  • Your father and I divorcing. My parents divorced when I was really young and it was a pretty hazy time. Not because I was so young, but because I'd just rather not remember it. I don't want you to have a hazy time. I want you to have all your memories of your father and I be good ones.
  • You not going to college. I had the opportunity to go to any college in the state of Florida with a 75% paid tuition scholarship. I did use it because I was going to "wait a year". A year later I was engaged to your father and decided to wait because I wanted to get married first. Then I was going to go before I had you. Now I plan on going before having our next baby... but we'll be in Japan so I have a feeling that isn't going to happen either. I want you to be able to support yourself. I can't. We need your father's paycheck to buy food and pay bills. I want to be able to contribute more, but I was too lazy to do anything about it. Now I'm afraid if I try to start college I wont be able to finish because I would either be too focused on that and not enough on you or vis versa.
  • Honestly I can't really think of a third right now...
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
  • We may seem like we argue a lot, but that's just how we communicate lol. Sounds sad, but it's not. We love each other and I don't know about your dad, but I would be lost without him. There is not one single thing I regret about our relationship, only that I'm not being the best wife that I could be. I know that I am at least good enough for your father, but I want to be more than that. He is my world. We were married young, and we have matured with each other. Bumps have come along the way, big bumps. To be honest there have been times when I almost gave up. I'm sure he has had those moments, too. But we know that this is our happiness.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
  • Dump the guy. Don't waste your time. You may be happy, but isn't worth it. He is a liar and he is using you.
  • Dump that guy, too. There's somebody better coming along and while you were happy, you know you aren't anymore. Yes, he is a good guy. But you can't string somebody along just because you don't have a better reason that "I don't want to anymore", or "I'm afraid of what will happen if I do." Let him go.
  • Shut up, you are skinny. Wait 7 years and THEN you can complain about those thighs.
  • Shut up, you will have boobs. Again, wait 7 years. If they go away after that you can totally afford a boob job.
  • Put down the video games and go outside. Make friends. Stay out late. Go to a party. Being grounded will be worth it. You aren't going to sleep around, you know you don't do drugs, so mom & David yelling at you will so be worth it. You'll regret it if you don't. You're young. Be young.
  • You're doing great in school, but don't get distracted. Senior year is going to be a pain in the ass. Don't take the AP classes just because you can... you won't pass. Don't take AP Stats just because you can. You will fail and waste your time. Strive, but if you're going to strive actually apply yourself. Don't go half ass.
  • Stop buying stupid shit. Save up. Still buy the cobalt-- you love it. But don't buy stupid stuff that will give you no return.
  • If you like him, do something about it. He won't.
  • Stay in JROTC. Be the leader they know you're going to be able to be. You may be scared, but it's worth it.
  • Join the volleyball team. Softball team. Any team. Just join, make friends, make memories.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
  • Waking up, rolling over, and seeing you in your bassinet looking up at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen on your face. Eyes glowing.
  • When you dad comes home with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet Ice cream and I didn't even ask him to. It's not the ice cream, it's that he thought about me.
  • When you take long naps! lol :D
  • Looking down at the tattoo on my leg (just an outline right now, color on monday!) and seeing you (toddler snow white) getting to meet your grandmother (red bird on your shoulder.) Remember that she is always there.
  • Mocha Swirl Latte's from Dunkin Donuts

6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
  • Be a better mom.
  • You to grow up well
  • Your father and I to always be together
7. What is your dream job, and why?
  • Singer. I love to sing and I just wish I had the courage to do it for other people and actually make money to do it.
8. What are 5 passions you have?
  • You
  • My marriage
  • Baking
  • Singing
  • Learning new things
 9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
  • My Aunt Barb- she taught me to love baking
  • My mother- She may be grumpy but she made me who I am
  • Your father- he pushes me to do better for myself
  • Your grandpa- When I thought I couldn't he forced me to see I could
  • You- when I'm unhappy all I have to do is look at you. Right now I am your everything. To you I can do anything, and you remind me that it's true. I can do anything. For you.
  • Elijah- All it takes is one call and him shrieking my name to light up my day. It's amazing to think I am still important to somebody even when I'm 1600 miles away.
  • Uncle Justin- he showed me how to be silly, stupid, and creative.
  • My Aunt Tracy & Uncle Eddie- they have the marriage I want your father and I to have.
  • My Aunt Sandy- Taught me how to spoil and not to sweat the small stuff. That life is too short not to laugh about the downfalls.
  • My Grandmother- The pride she had for where she comes from is unwavering. The reds suck. They always have as long as I can remember. But she never once missed a game on the TV or radio. She watched it, took the loses, and still came back for the next game, glued to the TV. She taught me that pride is important. I will always love where I come from. It will always be my home. I will never stop rooting for the home team because without where you come from you have nothing.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
  • I've let a room full of strangers look at my girly parts and wipe the poo from my butt while trying to have a baby. There is no shame in my life.
 11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
  • When you father doesn't hear me and instead of saying "what?" he just completely ignores the fact that I said anything -_____-
  • Toilet paper roll facing OUT, not IN!
  • Your dad leaving his work stuff covering the table so I have to clean it up to serve dinner.
  • When the inside of a kids pocket is popped out. When i worked with kids I HAD to push it back in... couldn't take seeing it just hanging out. SO annoying!
  • When your dad puts the dishes beside the empty sink instead of in it.
  • When your dad leaves the lid on his tupperware he brought back home from work. Smells awful!
  • When you dad poops with the door open
  • People who go exactly 45mph in a 45mpg zone. You can go 5 over granny!
  • When your dad says he'll take the trash out. Five times. And still doesn't.
  • Yea we'll just go with your dad xD
 12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
  • Wake up around 3am to change feed you. Back to sleep.
  • Wake up again around 6am if your dad has work, to feed you. (he changes you.) Back to sleep.
  • If its a day off, wake up around 8:30-9:30 to feed you 
  • Change you
  • Put you in your exersaucer or on the floor with some toys so I can eat lunch and check my facebook (shaddap. I'm one of those people.)
  • Pick you up (aka save you from yourself) because you're screaming bloody murder.
  • Bath time every other day
  • Feed you
  • Nap time!
  • Mommy does the dishes, walks on some eggs shells to make sure she doesn't wake you up so she can play video games (Sims), watch her shows (Once Upon A Time, Whitney, Last Man Standing) on Hulu, and chat on MilitarySOS.com
  • You wake up-- More boob for you.
  • Change you
  • Exersaucer for you, mama does whatever... mostly saves you from yourself.
  • More play time. More boobies.
  • Daddy is home, he takes over you while I make dinner
  • We eat, while you yell at us because apparently dinner time is also "HEY PAY ATTENTION TO ME NOT YOUR FOOD!" time.
  • You get some home made baby puree (avacado this week!) and then you scream when I'm done because you want more. Aka youz a fatty.
  • Booby.
  • You ace out, mommy plays video games.
  • You wake up, eat, play time. Momma does whatever
  • I take a shower while daddy plays with you in our bed.
  • He takes a shower while I feed you and pray you fall asleep.
  • You don't.
  • Dad's asleep, I'm putting a pacifier back in your mouth for a good 30-90 minutes until you fall asleep.
  • Usually (weeknights) we're all asleep by 11pm. Dad by 9:30.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
  •  Knowing there are so many opportunities you could have had but never took advantage of. And knowing you can't just go back and retry.
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses & strengths you have.
  • I'm emotional, but caring.
  • I can get grumpy over stupid shit, but I generally don't stress about the little things past a small hissy fit.
  • I don't have as much of a sense of humor as your father, but I'm good at ignoring him ;D
  • I care too much about what other people think, but I can usually leave a good impression on people.
  • I always want more, but I'm good at telling myself no to unneeded things.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
  • Your father and I met in highschool through a mutual friend, but never really talked. He joined the Marines, so he was in Pensacola Florida when we really started talking. We talked every single day from the first time he called me. Not one day did we not call each other. A month of that and we started dating. Still talking every single day. I couldn't not talk to him. I couldn't not think about him. Everything I did he was in the back of my mind. 3 months in he told me he loved me. I loved him too, but didn't say it back until a month later. I didn't want to say it too quick and ruin anything. Usually when I would fight with my boyfriend that would be our sign that we were going to break up. When your dad and I fought we would work it out, or walk away until we could work it out. Breaking up was never even an option. I didn't even think of it as an option. I don't know exactly when I knew he was the one, but eventually it was just the way it way if that makes any sense. Like he was that way all along. When we first started talking he told me to put him in my phone as "The One." He is still listed in my phone as that. When we had been together for just over a year he deployed. Before he left he proposed. When he got back we got married.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

  • Marrying your father
  • Getting pregnant with you our first try! Then going all but like 3 hours of labor all natural.
  • Losing 30 pounds during your father's first deployment so I was in the best shape I could be in to have you
  • Exclusively breastfeeding you (only giving you formula about 3 times?)
  • Graduating with honors
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
  •  Being a wife and mother.
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
  •  My ability to take his shit.
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
  •  Complete. It's true that you never knew how much love you had in your heart until you have a child.
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
  • Playing softball
  • Going camping
  • Playing with my group of friends in the trailer part-- running around the gravel pit, playing in the creek & the woods behind the creek, and going places we weren't supposed to go.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
  •  My mom and I don't get along when we're together for too long, but that's because our personalities are so much alike. I love when she comes to visit because she spoils me, but she also helps me a lot with housework and making everything more homey.
  • I've always been a daddies girl, but ever since my parents divorced it seems like we've grown farther and farther apart. I still like to see him, but we just don't talk that much.
  • My stepdad and I had a rough start, we still fight, but I know that he is doing the best he can to raise another man's child as his own. I know that he wishes I would call him dad, and I don't know why I can't... I wish I could, and I do write dad sometimes, I just have a hard time saying it in front of him. I don't know why.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
  •  5 years- You father says he isn't going to reenlist again. I think he will. So I'll probably be right where we are right now. You eating lunch, me taking care of your 1 year old (PLEASE BE A) brother. Eh, actually we'll probably be on leave in Florida.
  • You'll be 10, so hopefully at one of your sporting events, with your 6 year old (hopefully) brother playing at his sporting event. I'm hoping to have a bachelors in nutritional science.
  • Your dad will have been in for 25 years. 5 years away from retirement... so hopefully we're chillin in a big ass house haha You'll be 16, your (hopefully) brother will be 12 so probably at a sporting even of his.
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
  •  Thanksgiving. Your grandmother's cooking.
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
  •  I love waking up, rolling over in bed, and seeing your eyes gleaming and a huge smile on your face. That is true happiness.
  • I hate waking up in the middle of my sleep to feed you, and especially hate when you don't want to go back to sleep! Momma loves her sleep.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
  • Marilyn Monroe. We would go to Serendipity and share a frozen hot chocolate.
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
  •  To live a life without sin. I don't believe in doing right by God. I believe in doing right because it is right.
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
  •  My cheek bones. I love how high they are? lol
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
  •  He is an amazing father (when he isn't distracted by video games!)
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
  •  Not saying that we WILL buy you a brand new car, pay for your $30,000 wedding, help you put a nice down payment on your first home, but I want to have the option.
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
  • Good Wife
  • Great Mother
  • Loving Person
  • Somebody you could look up to
  • Friendliness
  • My baking/cooking
  • Good values
  • Good morals
  • Who I am
  • What I've done

and in case you're too lazy to click links, here is the actual list for you to copy & paste without my answers :P
THE LIST:
1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Friday, March 22, 2013

I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amanda-king/stay-at-home-parent_b_2558642.html

The above article has been on my news feed several times the past couple days, and it sparked me into wanting to make a related blog for my own personal "what I mean". I should be giving Madison a bath, but she just ate so I need to let her sit up right for a short while anyway, or the bath will have been useless lol

So, basically the article is what it means when a mother tells her husband she needs a break. It goes on about how that break doesn't really mean a reprieve from being a mother or wife, but more of a reprieve from not getting anything done. THAT is what 99% of women mean.

I have breaks during the day, yes. 1 hour every 3 hours. Heck, right now I'm on the computer and it isn't even during that 1 hour ever 3 hour I just talked about. She's playing. With that said, right now and during her naps I am still not fully able to relax. I have to get things done, and I have to get them done quickly. I never know when that 1 hour nap is going to be a thirty minute nap, or a "gotcha! I'm not really tired!" and there goes my "break".

What I need is that hour to myself. Fully, 100% myself. To know that even if she cries or need something, you are there to fix it for me. I can take a shower, do my hair, cook dinner without running from the stove to the pacifier and back to the stove again. Oh and then back to put the pacifier back in. I can do whatever I want/need to do for one whole hour and I don't have to take care of anybody but myself, and I don't have to worry about somebody crying for me to change their butt, pick them up, lay them down. Nothing. Just me.

I want to be able to take a shower and not have to look out the curtain to make sure she's still entertaining herself. I want to sing my favorite song in my big girl voice, not my favorite song with baby analogies substituted in my baby voice.

I want to be able to cook dinner and not have to worry about burning something because she keeps dropping her pacifier. I want to impress you with my culinary prowess, and if I'm working on something that I have to hover over I don't need the added stress of making sure I'm where I need to be before stuff boils over and so does she.

I want to be able to look and feel like a woman instead of a mother. I want to put my hair down, and brushed. Not up in a pony tail or messy bun. I want eyeliner and mascara on. I want to wear perfume and genuinely feel like I am attractive. No, I don't feel ugly in my messy bun and "au naturale" look, but nobody wants to bang Sarah Silverman when they can have Angelina Jolie. (No offence, Sarah.)

Three little things. I don't want to go out and drink with my friends (I mean, that wouldn't hurt... but I'm fine with that only once in a blue moon.) I don't want to live it up. I don't want to watch TV while you do all the dirty work. I want to be able to be a human being.





**This is not me saying Mark doesn't let me do that. He does. I'm just putting it to paper.