Product Rave

Okay, I know I suck and didn't do a "Christmas Post" before posting this, but oh well. It will come. Eventually lol. I just HAVE to rave about this subscription box my mom got for Madison.

It's called "Citrus Lane". For $30 a month (or less depending on if you do monthly, trimonthly, or a six month subscription) you get a box FULL of goodies specifically geared towards your child's age & gender, from prenatal to 5 years old A typical box has a food item, a toy, a care item (shampoo, soap, lotion, etc), a book, and a surprise for mommy! Most items are organic, natural, and all around environmental & body conscious.

I have yet to be displeased by this box. If my mom didn't get the subscription for my daughter I would do everything in my power to make sure we still had it. Including cancelling my other subscription boxes!

This months box was PERFECTION. It didn't come with a food item, which I usually look forward to, but that detail was shadoweded by pure perfection.

First, the book. Super thick cardboard pages, perfect for babies who want to rip fragile paper books. And it is small enough for them to hold themselves, but big enough for my hands not to fubmle pages. "Cleo in the Snow". Perfect for winter, and Madison ALWAYS loves books!

Next, car item: Babytime by Episencial Snuggly Lotion. I LOVE this company. It's products are natural, usda organic, plant based, vegan & gluten free. SUPER environmentally conscious and all around a beautiful company whose products are fairly priced and worth every single penny even if they were to be overpriced. I already received their Shampoo & body wash in a previous box and have since ordered 3 large bottles of it to use. It is a bit watered down, but a little goes a long way and it smells amazing!

Also in the box was, one of my favorite things I have EVERY received, a small 12x12 inch canvas, including pink & blue paint to be used as "handprint wall art". I don't plan on doing a hand, though. We just did her hands for Christmas, so no need. I plan on using this (which is something I've been wanting to do, so perfect mind reader citrus lane obviously would send it!) for finger paints. Her room is pink, so I'll just give the blue paint to my neighbor who has a little boy and let her go crazy with the pink so we can hang it on the wall as her first painting! Super excited to do this I cannot HANDLE it!

And. The grand mac daddy... a Jumbo Knob Puzzle!! I have been looking for these for forever. This one isn't animals, it's shapes which is great because it will be easier for her to match them up once she gets the hang of it :)

It's so great that Citrus Lane seems to match our needs and wants PERFECTLY. Maybe we're just lucky, but I cannot rave enough about how amazing this company and the companies they support are. ESPECIALLY with us living in Japan and not having as much of a selection as far as natural products, or hot commodities toys in general go. Purely magical.

Uhg... Already counting down the days til my next box!

But I Do Love You.

Okinawa, Japan is 12 or 13 hours ahead of Naples, Florida & Cincinnati/Dayton, Ohio. It is an up to 30 plus hour plane ride. And not a day goes by that that isn't on my mind.

I never forget how far away Madison is from our family. Her family. She will be nearly 4 years old before our family is an active part of her life beyond a computer screen & phone calls.

Not as important, I can't go out and get an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Bi-weekly "cheat" trips to Smithfields are out of the question. Cookout's greasy goodness does not drip all over my fingers, and will not be washed down with a blueberry cheesecake milkshake. I indulge in no skyline, and I do not repulse my husband with the smell of two white castle cheese sliders & a small order of onion fries.

I can't buy home goods at Kirklands and hope my husband doesn't notice when he comes home from being away. He can't offer to buy me an unexpected pair of wedges from Buckle as my eyes light up passing them on our way to Gymboree at the mall, let alone go to Wilmington on the weekends to get a better selection of clothes (and still come home with only 1 shirt because I'm THAT picky.)

Friday summer nights don't begin every night in Drew's back yard staying up way too late only to get way too early to go to the beach and sit on the back of a Jeep. Heck no weekend nights at all begin that way. We don't go to Chilis (again!) with Chelsea, Jake, "Sky", and Kali. No more movie nights in their living room. No more promising Sky a balloon (which I always forgot to buy but he didn't care) if he did this or that.

But, Okinawa, I do love you. And I know that these next three years are going to go by way too quickly.

The island is straight off of an internet "paradise" google image search. You have beaches, country side, caves, water falls, children's parks, amazing food, hidden shacks, and soaring building all on one small island. You can wake up and relax in a beautiful quiet park with a small stream running under an old bridge, then end up in a loud bar eating sushi and drinking sake by night fall. Nothing about this island, so far, had made me think "I could do without that." Every thing is so beautiful and I usually sit in the passenger seat for that very reason. More opportunity to view what a wonderful place I have been granted the pleasure of calling home.

The people are just as beautiful as the island they so graciously opened to us. They are genuinely kind & thoughtful. You rarely see a glum face-- and if you do, the moment their gaze meets you smiling and nodding hello their face instantly brightens up with a smile & twinkling eyes as they nod back. Madison is seldom passed without a Kawaii (cute!) or some serious baby googly eyes. They almost always HAVE to touch her cheeks or hands. And I don't mind one bit. Because 9 times out of 10 if the person is even the slightest bit sick, they wear a mask. The courtesy they share for one another is outstanding.

If you are expecting a deliver, and given a 2 hour time frame, typically-- ignore the last hour & a half they say. If they say there will be here between 10 & 12 they will either be sitting in the truck waiting for the clock to strike 10 or will be there before 10:30. Their word is their word, and rarely will any thing change that.

Parking lots, while smaller than Stateside, are typically guided by attendants, both in & out of the parking lot. Often there are men pointing you in the direction of a parking spot.

I have yet to see a trash or recycling bin anywhere outside of a place of business (and even those aren't in plain sight), but I have yet to see litter. Off base at least.

Nothing about this island ceases to amaze me. And I hope it is always that way.

Baby you're everything and more than everything I wanted, more than I deserve...

Five days. Five more days and my baby girl will be 1 year old. It does not seem like we've had her this long, but when you think about it, is 364 days really that many days? Not when you write it out in days, in my opinion. Even shorter a time when you write it down as only 12 months. Which is scary to think that 1 year is "only" 12 months. Makes me wonder how fast the next 17 years will go. Also makes me want to curl up in a cocoon & pretend I'm still in my second trimester (because lets face it, the first & third suck lol!) with this beautiful baby girl and she is still a long way away from growing up :/

She still isn't walking, but she's taken a few steps here and there so I don't think we have too much longer to go for that. I'm excited about it, but I know once she starts walking I'll hate it lol

She's gotten so much more independent it's sort of sour to think about. She's still needy half the time, where she just wants to be in our (well... my lol) arms, or needs me to sit next to her as she plays so she knows exactly where I am and that I'm not leaving her, but usually a couple times a day I will be sitting on the couch and she'll crawl into her room to play with those toy. She has two bins in the living room to play with as well, but a girl's gotta have choices! lol!

Oh, also... whenever she cries in the car, we only have to play this certain song to get her to calm down... and it's kind of embarrassing lmao. Headband by B.o.B featuring 2 Chainz haha!!! That's one to tell her first date. "When she was a baby we would play a rap song about tight lady parts and ganji! It'd make her happy as a clam! No pun intended, of course!

The weekend before this past weekend Madison has her 1 year pictures taken, and smash cake pictures! She didn't get to wear exactly what I wanted her too, because it was too cold, but the pictures are still wonderful, regardless of what she was wearing, thanks to a friend of mine who is an amazing photographer! I cannot wait for our family to get the pictures!! If you're on, or planning on coming to Okinawa any time within the next year & a half or so, totally look into her stuff-- I cannot rave enough about her!!

Photo credits:
http://krystalynnephotography.com/
https://www.facebook.com/krystalynnephotography

They Say It's Your Birthday...

  Happy Birthday Marine Corp... okay I don't really G.A.F about the fact that it's their "birthday" lol... but I do care that I get to get all dolled up! This past Saturday we had our Birthday Ball! For the first time, I actually wanted to stay the whole time! Maybe it was me being a mom, and actually enjoying just being around adults without worrying about poopy diapers & if it's nap time yet. Either way, it ended too soon and I wish I could go back and replay the night (with a few differences, of course, but we won't get into that lol)
  I always enjoy the slide show, but typically after that I slug through listening to a long boring speech, eating crappy food, and then we high tail on out of there once the dancing starts. But the speech was actually pretty good. There were some parts that went in one ear and out the other, but for the most part it was enjoyable (it helped that for the first time the guest of honer, the person who does the main speech, was fun to look at for an older man haha!)
 And the food! Oh man, it was actually warm! And that wasn't the best part... it was GOOD too! "What's that you say!? I must have misheard you!" NAY, my good friend! It tasted like something you actually were glad you paid $35 dollars to come to this play for! And apparently the booze was nice and strong, too, which my husband enjoyed (a little too much I might add lol).
 And lastly, the DJ actually did a great job picking songs! He was smart enough to start everything off with songs that had actual dances attached to them so people would
get out on the floor (Cupid Shuffle, Line Dancing, etc.) and once enough people were on the floor he changed it up to free dancing songs. I didn't hear any slow songs, but apparently those came after I left, according to Mark's text "Of course a song I would want to dance with you to comes on"... obviously -___- He never dances anyway, so whatevs, I'm used to it *shrug*. (Mark ended up coming home with his gunny. I left a half an hour or so before him so I could let the baby sitter go home at a relatively decent hour.)

Oh, and speaking of birthdays! Madison will be 1 year old in 5 days! What. Thee. Ever Loving. Hell!? How did this happen!? And why am I not twig bitch skinny again by now!? Gah, I started Herbalife up again way too late lol what a slacker. I'm down 10 pounds, though... so that's a plus. Now that I fit into my gown, though, I know I'll be slacking more, which sucks... but at least I have plenty of time, even with slacking, to get bikini bod ready ;D
Her party will be on the 17th. This weekend we go to finish up her Birthday shopping, and to get decorations for her party.
Her birthday Party will be a "Royal Affair" where she'll be dressed up (and the guests/their kids if they'd like!) like prince & princesses! We still don't know too many people on island, so it will be relatively small so it will just be in our apartment :)



Now on to a separate and much longer Madison Update in a new post!

It's Good To Be Bad.

I am a bad mom, and I'm perfectly fine with it.

Madison Brianna is 9 months old. She has no designated nap, bath, eating, bed, or wake-up time. She has no schedule, and 95% of the time she is happy.

To most people now days, no schedule for a baby is horrible. Society constantly tells you how to raise your child the best way. How you need to put them on a schedule, or your life will revolve around them and nothing more or less.

My daughter is a baby. She is not a clock.

She wakes on her own for the day between 6:30 & 8:30 and she goes to sleep for the night between 8:00pm & 10:00pm. Sometimes she wakes up between 3:30am & 5am for a sleep feeding, but for the last week she hasn't been waking at all in the middle of the night.

Bath day is every 2-3 days (depending on if we go in the heat or if she is otherwise dirtier than usual). Sometimes it is in the morning. Sometimes it is in the afternoon. Sometimes it is at night. Her bath time is whenever I decide "Okay, I'll give her a bath now." Usually right before we leave if we have things to do that day, whenever that may be. Her bath is not a cue for bedtime, or wake time. It is a bath. It is when I splish and splash her while she splishes and splashes herself. It is not a time for her to relax, it is a time for her to play and have fun while momma does her thing with that cup & washcloth that sure do look like fun toys.

She eats when she is hungry. Sometimes that is every 3 hours. Sometimes that is every 5 hours. Her breakfast is whenever she is hungry after her first morning bottle. Her lunch is whenever she is hungry in the afternoon. Her dinner is when we eat (which varies depending on when daddy comes home.)

My daughter is not a robot. She knows when she is hungry and/or tired. And she knows how to tell me that.

Now, if you put your baby/toddler/child on a schedule and it works for you, more power to you. But that does not mean it is what everybody should do. It works for some people, and others (while it will still probably work for most) prefer to let their child tell them when they need things.

My daughter is not in charge. But I am also not in charge of her basic human needs. While she is a person made from two people, she is her own. I will continue to let her be her own person so long as I am able.

Now That We're Here, Now That We've Come This Far

Well. Here we are. In our new temporary home. Camp Kinser Towers. Right in front of the beach... but of course our apartment is on the wrong damn side so we just get a nice parking and other tower view with a sliver of city skyline lol. I can't complain, though. At least during typhoons I won't have as big a clean up on the balcony!

We've got a 2 bedroom, so we're needing to store things smarter without a third bedroom to use as a "throw all room", but it's spacious enough for us to fit everything we need with a couple extras and still maintain an uncluttered home. Plus there are closets and cabinets EVERYWHERE lol.

I've already began hanging things. Some of the walls are concrete, so I need to have Mark drill into them for me before I can drill a screw in, but other than that, today I plan on hanging everything else.
We bought a printer, but I need a damn cable so the frames will have to deal with old pictures until I can get better pictures printed on base, shipped from online, or the plug since this computer doesn't have wifi and my macbook isn't compatible with it.

Madison is so happy to have her crib back! She is going to bed without a fuss, and so are we! For the first time in 2 months I've had a sleepless night (well 2nd night... we got everything bed two days ago after sleeping on hotel beds and air mattresses for the two days we were here without things lol).

She has her own little area with cubes full of her toys to play with in the living room so hopefully she isn't as "HOLD ME MAMA" all the time. I plan on replacing it with a chest or large wicker basket.

It's so nice to be able to actually cook a dinner now. Granted, we have to sit on the couch and eat it, but it's food by golly and I cooked it! No more eating out or surviving off of simple or frozen meals. I have a damn oven again!

Pretty much everything in the common areas is put it it's place and tidy, except some things in the buffet that I need to find a place for so we can have the government take it back (government furniture). The bedroom & nursery are pig stys lol I plan on tidying those today as well.

I've been scouring facebook for sale pages & booko for a cheap bedroom set for awhile now, so hopefully I find something soon so we can have the government pick up all of the furniture they put here for us to use until we got our own things. First pick up is free, otherwise we have to take it back ourselves or pay to have it taken back... so we are just going to wait until we can give it all back at once.

So yeah, that's that.

You're Gunna MIss Me When I'm Gone

So it's been awhile since I wrote. We've been out of our house since mid June, living with friends, then family, then friend's again... and now. In a hotel. A hotel in... DUN DUN DUN DUUUUNN Okinawa, Japan! We've been here for a week now, and although I haven't seen much at all, I am in love.

We went to the airport on our original flight date. After an hour of waiting we were told the flight was going to be delayed half an hour... and then another delay which made us miss our connecting flight to seattle. Missing that flight meant we had to wait to leave because they only flew out of Seattle to
the airbase here once a week. We ended up having to leave Saturday morning at 5am instead of the Thursday at 4pm. We got one more day with friends, so whatevs. The sucky part was we went from a 15 hour airplane day to 30. Fuuuun!

It actually wasn't even that bad. It seems like it went by so much quicker than 30 hours. I'm glad we ended up flying commercial the entire way.

At LAX we were invited to go to the first class lounge before our flight to Tokyo. They had free internet, sushi (which I wish I would have known before we got Panda Express! lol!), alcohol, cappuccinos, Japanese newspapers... it was awesome. Madison slept mostly the whole time, so we stayed there for about an hour to charge things and get online. When she woke up we left so she didn't start getting loud and talking while people were trying to rest. The JAL (japanese airlines) attendants put in Madison's carseat for us, so we just strolled her around in their stroller.

At the security all the Japenese woman lost their minds over Madison. Apparently they LOVE American babies. Especially if they are blue eyed. Give them a blond to boot and you might as well send an ambulance lol. One of the women, you could tell had baby fever. She kept poking Madison's cheek and squealing whenever Madison smiled or giggled at her. It was so cute! Madison was eating the attention up!

On the flight from LAX to Tokyo we had AWESOME seats. Since they were positive if her carseat would fit we got the bassinet row. We had SO MUCH ROOM. Mark could stretch out completely without his long legs being restricted, so I know he loved that. We eat had our own TV that had movies, games, and aerial views from the plan the whole way. On take up and landing the screens towards the front of the plane (one of which was RIGHT in front of us) showed the front of the plan
so yo could see yourself taking off and landing. It was really neat. We had seafood rice snacks, which were kind of like the snacks you usually get on American flights, only these were seafood flavored. They were really good. Mark isn't a fan of fish, though... so I'm sure he didn't appreciate them as much as I did. For the on flight lunch he had roast beef with a roll and I had some sort of eel & rice dish. We both got noodles & sauce, a fruit cup, kimchi, salmon (raw) with I think it was cabbage, and sorbet. For dinner, to be honest, I don't remember what we got. But it was still good!

Originally our flight from Seattle to Okinawa would have been about 13 hours on a AMC flight (military flight). Which meant no awesome Japanese meals, no awesome chairs, awesome personal TVs, or awesome display showing us taking off or landing from the nose of the plane. It was really awesome and made the time fly by.

So far, we are looking at a 5-7 week wait for housing. Mark's command, I guess, is trying to expidite that process. I think he said they were successful before in making it quicker, so hopefully it's the same for us. As much as I LOVE living in a 500 sq ft hotel room (we got upgraded! lol) I would really love to have our own place so I can start making our concrete floors and white walls more homey and less hotel impermanent. I just want a home again. My bed. Madison's room. All of her toys. All of our clothes. All of everything.

We already bought our first car. A Subaru B4 with Twin Turbo. All of the cars over here are old, so ti's a 2003. No sense in buying anything newer when we are only going ot have it for three years... We already have everything for it set up, but here you have to go through a bunch of other stuff so we don't actually GET the car until Thursday. I mean, not that it mattered. Mark JUST got his license yesterday (I got mine almost a week ago, but the car has to go in his name since he's the active duty and I'm just here on a sponsorship.)

So far (off base) we've only been to CoCo's Curry house. I had Cream Croquette Curry with Crab. It's basically curry, with white rice (which comes with every meal) and the Cream Croquette with Crab meat is like a hashbrown made from creamy crab meat. It was sooo good! For dessert we bought an ice cream bar from there. It was basically an ice cream with hard chocolate in between two layers of vanilla ice cream, and the whole thing was wrapped in a semi soft ice cream shell that looked like a big waffle. It was pretty dang good. I mean, it tasted like normal ice cream, but it was still neat lol

I'll be sure to update as I can. The internet at this hotel is horrible, and as I said, it's going to be a while until we have our own place with reliabl
e internet :/

Madison is 8 and a half months old :)

Madison Update :)

I have no doubt that she will be walking around by her first birthday. She is growing so fast, it seems like every time I turn around she is doing or growing something new.
She now has five teeth. Yes, five. I know what you're thinking "How the hell do you breastfeed a kid with FIVE TEETH!? Well.. I don't. Unfortunately, while we were bouncing between places the stress took it's toll and my supply all but disappeared. I was producing so little that all I kept hearing was how she's gotten smaller, she was wanting to eat every 2 hours still (even with solids) and I just couldn't keep up with her needs so I made the decision to switch to formula. I'm glad we made it as long as we did, but I'm also glad I don't breastfeed any more. You might have heard me say before, it was just more stressful for me than beneficial for the both of us. I was resentful of my husband, to be honest, and I know this is best for myself and my daughter. We made it 7 and a half months, and we've been 100% formula for a month and she's already packed on the
pounds. She's going longer between feedings, and sleeping more soundly day & night. Every so often I would try to give her my breast but she would refuse altogether so my plans of hopefully reestablishing my supply once we settled here in Okinawa went down the pooper with a quickness. But, like I said, I am happy with the decision and so is Madison. And that's all the matters :)

She is full throttle crawling, no more row boat action. And standing, too! She walks along furniture and every so often she will let go, or pop up from my lap and stand for 3-5 seconds at a time before plopping down on her butt.

She eats pretty much anything me or Mark have (that she CAN eat at least.) Every time we have food she stops in her tracks, crawls her way over, pulls herself up, and begs like a little puppy dog. Personally, I blame daddy lol. Bananas are still her favorite. She loooves diluted apple juice and bread as well. If you want to do something (like write a blog) just pull out the puffs and as long as there are

some on the floor next to her, she will not bug you lol

Her favorite toy is still her little monkey jungle joystick toy thingy... very descriptive, I know. But how the heck do you give a toy like that a name? lol She's also taken to playing with the wheels of our suitcase. Her favorite toy that isn't a toy (that she still likes more than her actual toys) is her wipes. She will sit there and crinkle the plastic on them for every and be perfectly content. You have to hide wires from her, too. She can't help but pull and yank on them. Like now...

She loves Mickey Mouse Club House & when Geometry Wars (a video game that Mark plays on occasion.)

I think that's about it as far as an update for her... now.

(Insert song title here)

So apparently my life doesn't merit a song title for this blog... because I can't think of one that goes with it lol So you get a no song title title. Impressive, no?

So, past month. Miss Madisunshine is 5 months old :o She is trying to crawl now. She can put her butt in the air on her knees, she can hold herself up on her front hands, but she hasn't quiet figured out how to do it all at one time, so the results end up looking more like a fish out of water more than an attempt at becoming mobile. She can sit up by herself too! Mind you, it's for about .84 seconds, but it's sitting up nonetheless! She can sit up for a good while if she's on carpet, but we don't have any so the only time she gets those long stretches is when we visit Jake & Chelsea's house :P

She recognizes her name now, too. And she's taken to clawing our faces, which is splendid  She will reach, pull you to her face, and good luck getting her detached because it's going to be more painful getting her off of you as it is having her on you lol

A week ago we got more family pictures done :) They were supposed to be a generations picture (My mother, me, and Madison), but my mom got really sick while she was here so it ended up just turning into just Mark, Madison, and I. I'm so happy with all the pictures! I just wish we were staying here longer so we could get more done since now I know a good photographer with good prices around here :/

What was that I said? "wish we were staying longer"? Does that mean?
Yes. Yes it does.
We are 100% definitely without a doubt gong to JAPAN :o We leave July 18th and while it sucks that we have to leave family behind, and that Madison will be 3 by the time she is able to really get to know everybody face to face, we are pretty excited to get the hell out of Jacksonville lol

So yeah, that's the update :)

Thirty Things I Want You To Know.

So I was going through pinterest and ran across this List.
30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me

So... here we go :) Hopefully I can finish this before Madison wakes up lol

The List.

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

• My maiden name is Cook. My mothers- Fallis. Her mothers- Haines.
• I was 20 when your father and I got married.
• I was 23 when I had you.
• We actually planned you- score!
• I graduated with honors & a 75% paid tuition scholarship. And was still dumb enough not to use it. I regret it every day.
• Probably TMI, but your father was my first, and I his. (hopefully that doesn't scar you...)
• I didn't go to my senior prom.
• Dad and I started dating my senior year
• You dad and I were married in Jacksonville, NC.
• We had you, 2 years & 9 months later in Jacksonville.
• I'm originally from Cincinnati, OH. (Cleves/Harrison to be exact.)
• Moved to Naples, Florida the summer before 6th grade.
• I hated that place until I left.
• We will be moving to Okinawa Japan in 4 months, when you are 8 months old. We will be there for 3 years.
• Auto was how you dad proposed. He asked on Auto's dog tags the day after we got him.
• Diesel was supposed to be Daddy's dog... but he liked me more :) Auto became daddy's boy.
• I worked in a gyms childcare from 16 years old until I was 3 months pregnant with you. I took a year break in there when I first moved to Jacksonville in 2008. I also took a few months break to work with kids at a community center when I was 17.
• I don't mind that you look just like your dad, because you have his eyes. But you still have my cheeks!
• My favorite kids movie is and always will be Toy Story. I will strive to make it yours as well.
• No matter how amazing a job you think I am or am not doing raising you, I will always think I should have done better.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

• Your father and I divorcing. My parents divorced when I was really young and it was a pretty hazy time. Not because I was so young, but because I'd just rather not remember it. I don't want you to have a hazy time. I want you to have all your memories of your father and I be good ones.
• You not going to college. I had the opportunity to go to any college in the state of Florida with a 75% paid tuition scholarship. I did use it because I was going to "wait a year". A year later I was engaged to your father and decided to wait because I wanted to get married first. Then I was going to go before I had you. Now I plan on going before having our next baby... but we'll be in Japan so I have a feeling that isn't going to happen either. I want you to be able to support yourself. I can't. We need your father's paycheck to buy food and pay bills. I want to be able to contribute more, but I was too lazy to do anything about it. Now I'm afraid if I try to start college I wont be able to finish because I would either be too focused on that and not enough on you or vis versa.
• Honestly I can't really think of a third right now...

3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.

• We may seem like we argue a lot, but that's just how we communicate lol. Sounds sad, but it's not. We love each other and I don't know about your dad, but I would be lost without him. There is not one single thing I regret about our relationship, only that I'm not being the best wife that I could be. I know that I am at least good enough for your father, but I want to be more than that. He is my world. We were married young, and we have matured with each other. Bumps have come along the way, big bumps. To be honest there have been times when I almost gave up. I'm sure he has had those moments, too. But we know that this is our happiness.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

• Dump the guy. Don't waste your time. You may be happy, but isn't worth it. He is a liar and he is using you.
• Dump that guy, too. There's somebody better coming along and while you were happy, you know you aren't anymore. Yes, he is a good guy. But you can't string somebody along just because you don't have a better reason that "I don't want to anymore", or "I'm afraid of what will happen if I do." Let him go.
• Shut up, you are skinny. Wait 7 years and THEN you can complain about those thighs.
• Shut up, you will have boobs. Again, wait 7 years. If they go away after that you can totally afford a boob job.
• Put down the video games and go outside. Make friends. Stay out late. Go to a party. Being grounded will be worth it. You aren't going to sleep around, you know you don't do drugs, so mom & David yelling at you will so be worth it. You'll regret it if you don't. You're young. Be young.
• You're doing great in school, but don't get distracted. Senior year is going to be a pain in the ass. Don't take the AP classes just because you can... you won't pass. Don't take AP Stats just because you can. You will fail and waste your time. Strive, but if you're going to strive actually apply yourself. Don't go half ass.
• Stop buying stupid shit. Save up. Still buy the cobalt-- you love it. But don't buy stupid stuff that will give you no return.
• If you like him, do something about it. He won't.
• Stay in JROTC. Be the leader they know you're going to be able to be. You may be scared, but it's worth it.
• Join the volleyball team. Softball team. Any team. Just join, make friends, make memories.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

• Waking up, rolling over, and seeing you in your bassinet looking up at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen on your face. Eyes glowing.
• When you dad comes home with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet Ice cream and I didn't even ask him to. It's not the ice cream, it's that he thought about me.
• When you take long naps! lol :D
• Looking down at the tattoo on my leg (just an outline right now, color on monday!) and seeing you (toddler snow white) getting to meet your grandmother (red bird on your shoulder.) Remember that she is always there.
• Mocha Swirl Latte's from Dunkin Donuts

6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?

• Be a better mom.
• You to grow up well
• Your father and I to always be together

7. What is your dream job, and why?

• Singer. I love to sing and I just wish I had the courage to do it for other people and actually make money to do it.

8. What are 5 passions you have?

• You
• My marriage
• Baking
• Singing
• Learning new things

 9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

• My Aunt Barb- she taught me to love baking
• My mother- She may be grumpy but she made me who I am
• Your father- he pushes me to do better for myself
• Your grandpa- When I thought I couldn't he forced me to see I could
• You- when I'm unhappy all I have to do is look at you. Right now I am your everything. To you I can do anything, and you remind me that it's true. I can do anything. For you.
• Elijah- All it takes is one call and him shrieking my name to light up my day. It's amazing to think I am still important to somebody even when I'm 1600 miles away.
• Uncle Justin- he showed me how to be silly, stupid, and creative.
• My Aunt Tracy & Uncle Eddie- they have the marriage I want your father and I to have.
• My Aunt Sandy- Taught me how to spoil and not to sweat the small stuff. That life is too short not to laugh about the downfalls.
• My Grandmother- The pride she had for where she comes from is unwavering. The reds suck. They always have as long as I can remember. But she never once missed a game on the TV or radio. She watched it, took the loses, and still came back for the next game, glued to the TV. She taught me that pride is important. I will always love where I come from. It will always be my home. I will never stop rooting for the home team because without where you come from you have nothing.

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

• I've let a room full of strangers look at my girly parts and wipe the poo from my butt while trying to have a baby. There is no shame in my life.

 11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

• When you father doesn't hear me and instead of saying "what?" he just completely ignores the fact that I said anything -_____-
• Toilet paper roll facing OUT, not IN!
• Your dad leaving his work stuff covering the table so I have to clean it up to serve dinner.
• When the inside of a kids pocket is popped out. When i worked with kids I HAD to push it back in... couldn't take seeing it just hanging out. SO annoying!
• When your dad puts the dishes beside the empty sink instead of in it.
• When your dad leaves the lid on his tupperware he brought back home from work. Smells awful!
• When you dad poops with the door open
• People who go exactly 45mph in a 45mpg zone. You can go 5 over granny!
• When your dad says he'll take the trash out. Five times. And still doesn't.
• Yea we'll just go with your dad xD

 12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

• Wake up around 3am to change feed you. Back to sleep.
• Wake up again around 6am if your dad has work, to feed you. (he changes you.) Back to sleep.
• If its a day off, wake up around 8:30-9:30 to feed you 
• Change you
• Put you in your exersaucer or on the floor with some toys so I can eat lunch and check my facebook (shaddap. I'm one of those people.)
• Pick you up (aka save you from yourself) because you're screaming bloody murder.
• Bath time every other day
• Feed you
• Nap time!
• Mommy does the dishes, walks on some eggs shells to make sure she doesn't wake you up so she can play video games (Sims), watch her shows (Once Upon A Time, Whitney, Last Man Standing) on Hulu, and chat on MilitarySOS.com
• You wake up-- More boob for you.
• Change you
• Exersaucer for you, mama does whatever... mostly saves you from yourself.
• More play time. More boobies.
• Daddy is home, he takes over you while I make dinner
• We eat, while you yell at us because apparently dinner time is also "HEY PAY ATTENTION TO ME NOT YOUR FOOD!" time.
• You get some home made baby puree (avacado this week!) and then you scream when I'm done because you want more. Aka youz a fatty.
• Booby.
• You ace out, mommy plays video games.
• You wake up, eat, play time. Momma does whatever
• I take a shower while daddy plays with you in our bed.
• He takes a shower while I feed you and pray you fall asleep.
• You don't.
• Dad's asleep, I'm putting a pacifier back in your mouth for a good 30-90 minutes until you fall asleep.
• Usually (weeknights) we're all asleep by 11pm. Dad by 9:30.

13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?

•  Knowing there are so many opportunities you could have had but never took advantage of. And knowing you can't just go back and retry.

14. Describe 5 and weaknesses & strengths you have.

• I'm emotional, but caring.
• I can get grumpy over stupid shit, but I generally don't stress about the little things past a small hissy fit.
• I don't have as much of a sense of humor as your father, but I'm good at ignoring him ;D
• I care too much about what other people think, but I can usually leave a good impression on people.
• I always want more, but I'm good at telling myself no to unneeded things.

15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.

• Your father and I met in highschool through a mutual friend, but never really talked. He joined the Marines, so he was in Pensacola Florida when we really started talking. We talked every single day from the first time he called me. Not one day did we not call each other. A month of that and we started dating. Still talking every single day. I couldn't not talk to him. I couldn't not think about him. Everything I did he was in the back of my mind. 3 months in he told me he loved me. I loved him too, but didn't say it back until a month later. I didn't want to say it too quick and ruin anything. Usually when I would fight with my boyfriend that would be our sign that we were going to break up. When your dad and I fought we would work it out, or walk away until we could work it out. Breaking up was never even an option. I didn't even think of it as an option. I don't know exactly when I knew he was the one, but eventually it was just the way it way if that makes any sense. Like he was that way all along. When we first started talking he told me to put him in my phone as "The One." He is still listed in my phone as that. When we had been together for just over a year he deployed. Before he left he proposed. When he got back we got married.

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

• Marrying your father
• Getting pregnant with you our first try! Then going all but like 3 hours of labor all natural.
• Losing 30 pounds during your father's first deployment so I was in the best shape I could be in to have you
• Exclusively breastfeeding you (only giving you formula about 3 times?)
• Graduating with honors

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

•  Being a wife and mother.

18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?

•  My ability to take his shit.

19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?

•  Complete. It's true that you never knew how much love you had in your heart until you have a child.

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

• Playing softball
• Going camping
• Playing with my group of friends in the trailer part-- running around the gravel pit, playing in the creek & the woods behind the creek, and going places we weren't supposed to go.

21. Describe your relationship with your parents.

•  My mom and I don't get along when we're together for too long, but that's because our personalities are so much alike. I love when she comes to visit because she spoils me, but she also helps me a lot with housework and making everything more homey.
• I've always been a daddies girl, but ever since my parents divorced it seems like we've grown farther and farther apart. I still like to see him, but we just don't talk that much.
• My stepdad and I had a rough start, we still fight, but I know that he is doing the best he can to raise another man's child as his own. I know that he wishes I would call him dad, and I don't know why I can't... I wish I could, and I do write dad sometimes, I just have a hard time saying it in front of him. I don't know why.

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

•  5 years- You father says he isn't going to reenlist again. I think he will. So I'll probably be right where we are right now. You eating lunch, me taking care of your 1 year old (PLEASE BE A) brother. Eh, actually we'll probably be on leave in Florida.
• You'll be 10, so hopefully at one of your sporting events, with your 6 year old (hopefully) brother playing at his sporting event. I'm hoping to have a bachelors in nutritional science.
• Your dad will have been in for 25 years. 5 years away from retirement... so hopefully we're chillin in a big ass house haha You'll be 16, your (hopefully) brother will be 12 so probably at a sporting even of his.

23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?

•  Thanksgiving. Your grandmother's cooking.

24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?

•  I love waking up, rolling over in bed, and seeing your eyes gleaming and a huge smile on your face. That is true happiness.
• I hate waking up in the middle of my sleep to feed you, and especially hate when you don't want to go back to sleep! Momma loves her sleep.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

• Marilyn Monroe. We would go to Serendipity and share a frozen hot chocolate.

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

•  To live a life without sin. I don't believe in doing right by God. I believe in doing right because it is right.

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

•  My cheek bones. I love how high they are? lol

28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?

•  He is an amazing father (when he isn't distracted by video games!)

29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?

•  Not saying that we WILL buy you a brand new car, pay for your $30,000 wedding, help you put a nice down payment on your first home, but I want to have the option.

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

• Good Wife
• Great Mother
• Loving Person
• Somebody you could look up to
• Friendliness
• My baking/cooking
• Good values
• Good morals
• Who I am
• What I've done

and in case you're too lazy to click links, here is the actual list for you to copy & paste without my answers :P

THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amanda-king/stay-at-home-parent_b_2558642.html

The above article has been on my news feed several times the past couple days, and it sparked me into wanting to make a related blog for my own personal "what I mean". I should be giving Madison a bath, but she just ate so I need to let her sit up right for a short while anyway, or the bath will have been useless lol

So, basically the article is what it means when a mother tells her husband she needs a break. It goes on about how that break doesn't really mean a reprieve from being a mother or wife, but more of a reprieve from not getting anything done. THAT is what 99% of women mean.

I have breaks during the day, yes. 1 hour every 3 hours. Heck, right now I'm on the computer and it isn't even during that 1 hour ever 3 hour I just talked about. She's playing. With that said, right now and during her naps I am still not fully able to relax. I have to get things done, and I have to get them done quickly. I never know when that 1 hour nap is going to be a thirty minute nap, or a "gotcha! I'm not really tired!" and there goes my "break".

What I need is that hour to myself. Fully, 100% myself. To know that even if she cries or need something, you are there to fix it for me. I can take a shower, do my hair, cook dinner without running from the stove to the pacifier and back to the stove again. Oh and then back to put the pacifier back in. I can do whatever I want/need to do for one whole hour and I don't have to take care of anybody but myself, and I don't have to worry about somebody crying for me to change their butt, pick them up, lay them down. Nothing. Just me.

I want to be able to take a shower and not have to look out the curtain to make sure she's still entertaining herself. I want to sing my favorite song in my big girl voice, not my favorite song with baby analogies substituted in my baby voice.

I want to be able to cook dinner and not have to worry about burning something because she keeps dropping her pacifier. I want to impress you with my culinary prowess, and if I'm working on something that I have to hover over I don't need the added stress of making sure I'm where I need to be before stuff boils over and so does she.

I want to be able to look and feel like a woman instead of a mother. I want to put my hair down, and brushed. Not up in a pony tail or messy bun. I want eyeliner and mascara on. I want to wear perfume and genuinely feel like I am attractive. No, I don't feel ugly in my messy bun and "au naturale" look, but nobody wants to bang Sarah Silverman when they can have Angelina Jolie. (No offence, Sarah.)

Three little things. I don't want to go out and drink with my friends (I mean, that wouldn't hurt... but I'm fine with that only once in a blue moon.) I don't want to live it up. I don't want to watch TV while you do all the dirty work. I want to be able to be a human being.





**This is not me saying Mark doesn't let me do that. He does. I'm just putting it to paper.

I Love You So, That's what I Say

&& I'll tell her that every single day!

I'm trying to multitask, so as usual this shit is gunna be all over the place.

My gorgeous little Madi sunshine is fast approaching 4 months old D: Within the next week or so we're going to be buying an exersaucer so she can start really working on them leg muscles. She hates tummy time, yes I'm a bad mommy and don't make her to things that just result in endless tears after 2 minutes lol. So we will resort to other methods of developing those future olympianesq muscles!

My dad came to visit. Aka I quit my diet haha we went out to eat like every dang night-- poor Mark was eating like a regular McFatterton for dinner every night (he tried to keep it healthy, but when you go out to eat you can only resist so much!) and nearly lost his mind looking in the mirror. I saw zero changes but he SWORE he was getting fat lol anyhooters... now we're back to normal. I can pop my boobies out in the middle of my living room once again!

Madison is napping and she just farted. Just thought you would want to know. She's good at that, btw. She doesn't even flinch. Just "tooot pooot blrrpt", not a care in the world. My little lady :D

Hmm lets see... IT SNOWED! Yaaaay! And we got to put Madison in her snow suit haha! She was adorable. She loooved the snow suit, but once we started taking pictures she got a little deer in highlight-y xD

Oh and we got our dates for Japan :O
We leave on or around July 18th. I'm not sure how that works... the paper says July 18th but idk if that means we leave or we arrive. Whatevz.. on or around July 18ths we will no longer be on 'merican soil. I'm not sure if that's good or not yet. Stay tuned lol I hear it's awesome, but luckily? now we get to be the judge of that!

Well that didn't last long... she's awake again (and trying to roll over in her swing and eat it lol)
Bye!

How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You.

Yep, I'm back to the monthly posts... maybe one day I'll be able to post more often... yeah okay lol.

Madison Brianna is now 2 months old!...and 4 days to be exact :P Yesterday she had her two month shots and ohhh my lawd I was NOT prepared for that. She screamed so loud and I mean that part wasn't that bad for me, but I made the fatal mistake of looking at her mouth and it broke my heart to actually SEE her screaming. Hearing I could take, but not seeing. I almost cried but I sucked it up lol Luckily she only screamed for like thirty seconds or I might have lost it... I'm making Mark take her next time lol I'll just leave the room for that part!

She's starting to talk now. Well... not actual talking, but baby coos. It is the cutest thing in the entire world! She mostly gets talkative at night. She will be in her swing and Mark and I will be watching TV and she'll just start jabbering away!

She can actually lift her head & chest up, too... mind you she wont do it on her tummy time mat (apparently tummy time mats are only for crying) but she will when she's on it with her boppy, or laying on my chest! She holds her head steady as well.

Yesterday she hardcore discovered her hands. I walked out to the car, Mark had already put her in her car seat, and as I walked past her to get to the passenger seat I peeked in and her finger was right up on her nostril and she was just starring at it like "wtf are you doing in there" haha Then last night she started sucking on her fist like a mad woman (not out of hunger). Putting her to sleep I could barely keep her paci in her mouth because she kept trying to suck on her fist through the pacifier lol I'm excited for her to discover her thumb, but only so i don't have to keep putting her paci back in her mouth and we can transition to the crib easier. After she can keep her pacifier in her mouth long enough for her to fall into a deep enough sleep, that thumb better hit the road!

She's wearing 3 month onsies now. She can still fit in her newborn pants (well... capris now haha), but she's in size 1 diapers. I'm pretty sure she'll be moving over to 2 here soon. She's already 14 lbs and 8oz as of yesterday. Ones only go up to 14 lol And we JUST bought a huge thing of size 1 diapers... I'm probably going to return them for twos.


And now for some pretty big news... Yesterday DH got web orders for a PCS... no, we aren't going to Virginia like his gunny originally said. And we aren't going to California like we wanted to. That only leaves one place! 日本! (I'm hoping google was right on that, btw lol) We're going to Japan :O According to his web orders, he is being processed out of his current squadron in June for his month of leave, then sometimes in July we're assuming is when Mark, Madison, and myself make the voyage to Okinawa, Japan. We will be there for 3 years :O

I'm on the fence about it all. Initially & ultimately I am excited, there are just those big negatives that I hate about it. Madison wont be around our family but once a year until she's almost 3 years old for one. Also, our dogs will have to stay behind. I'm sure we could take Diesel if we wanted to pay for it, but he would be miserable without Auto so we are just leaving them both with my parents.

Mark wasn't happy about it at all when he first found out he was getting orders, but now he's fine with it. He sees this as a fresh start. We have to sell the cars & the house so we will have zero debt (minus the loans we will have to take out to cover our negative equity on the home we just bought three years ago and the car we just bought 5 months ago, but that beats a 120k home loan and 20k car loan lol) We have one of our cars paid off, so we will get a nice chunk to pay off the rest of our debt, and we will be selling a lot of the things we aren't taking with us like our spare bedroom's furniture (we only get a two bedroom, so we wont have a place for it.)

Today a realtor is coming over to talk to us about what to do to sell our house fast (because he only have five months to do it!) I'm hoping this house sells as fast as it did when we bought it. We made an offer on it (along with like 4 other offers) before it was even officially listed with the old owner's realtor so here's hoping! And here's so, hopefully, an amazing experience!