I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amanda-king/stay-at-home-parent_b_2558642.html

The above article has been on my news feed several times the past couple days, and it sparked me into wanting to make a related blog for my own personal "what I mean". I should be giving Madison a bath, but she just ate so I need to let her sit up right for a short while anyway, or the bath will have been useless lol

So, basically the article is what it means when a mother tells her husband she needs a break. It goes on about how that break doesn't really mean a reprieve from being a mother or wife, but more of a reprieve from not getting anything done. THAT is what 99% of women mean.

I have breaks during the day, yes. 1 hour every 3 hours. Heck, right now I'm on the computer and it isn't even during that 1 hour ever 3 hour I just talked about. She's playing. With that said, right now and during her naps I am still not fully able to relax. I have to get things done, and I have to get them done quickly. I never know when that 1 hour nap is going to be a thirty minute nap, or a "gotcha! I'm not really tired!" and there goes my "break".

What I need is that hour to myself. Fully, 100% myself. To know that even if she cries or need something, you are there to fix it for me. I can take a shower, do my hair, cook dinner without running from the stove to the pacifier and back to the stove again. Oh and then back to put the pacifier back in. I can do whatever I want/need to do for one whole hour and I don't have to take care of anybody but myself, and I don't have to worry about somebody crying for me to change their butt, pick them up, lay them down. Nothing. Just me.

I want to be able to take a shower and not have to look out the curtain to make sure she's still entertaining herself. I want to sing my favorite song in my big girl voice, not my favorite song with baby analogies substituted in my baby voice.

I want to be able to cook dinner and not have to worry about burning something because she keeps dropping her pacifier. I want to impress you with my culinary prowess, and if I'm working on something that I have to hover over I don't need the added stress of making sure I'm where I need to be before stuff boils over and so does she.

I want to be able to look and feel like a woman instead of a mother. I want to put my hair down, and brushed. Not up in a pony tail or messy bun. I want eyeliner and mascara on. I want to wear perfume and genuinely feel like I am attractive. No, I don't feel ugly in my messy bun and "au naturale" look, but nobody wants to bang Sarah Silverman when they can have Angelina Jolie. (No offence, Sarah.)

Three little things. I don't want to go out and drink with my friends (I mean, that wouldn't hurt... but I'm fine with that only once in a blue moon.) I don't want to live it up. I don't want to watch TV while you do all the dirty work. I want to be able to be a human being.





**This is not me saying Mark doesn't let me do that. He does. I'm just putting it to paper.