I got my first email AND Saturday night/Yesterday Morning! Of course, I was at a friends house, and their apartment doesn't get service. IMAGINE THAT! Yesterday, while I was driving home, my phone caught up and I had 4 or 5 emails, and 7 voicemails... all from Mark. Insert FML smiley here. Thankfully, an hour later, right as I was finishing up in the shower, he called again! So yesterday I finally got my first call of the deployment. We've already exchanged 17 emails since that call as well. Needless to say, communication for this deployment will be a lot more frequent that it was last deployment, thank goodness. Like I already said, he called yesterday morning, but I also got another call last night. He said he would call and he was actually able to! So I started my day and ended it with his voice. It was a VERY welcome good day compared the two before, that is for damn sure.
The late night phone call that I go, I will say, pretty much made my entire life. Out of nowhere, no influence from me what-so-over, totally his thoughts that sprung it from thin air... he started talking about the possibility of trying for a baby when he gets home. OMG ME = COMA right now. I didn't even realize what had happened until we got off the phone. I mean I realized, I was 100% aware of what he said, but it didn't hit me until we got off the phone and I realized, wow... He brought it up on his own. He said he wants to try when he gets home. I'm completely beside myself thrilled excited fuck me sideways ecstatic about it! I know that things can come up, but just the fact that he brought it up on his own with no provocation from me blows my mind. Not only that, he did it AGAIN an hour ago in our first email of the day (well technically not first, but first email since I woke up, but you get what I mean lol.) As long as I get our bill sin order by the time he comes home (totally do-able) and we have a decent amount saved up (again, totally doable) he is, and I quote, "serious if I think we have enough money we will start trying when I get back or I might wait until after I get out and know what im doing for a living then try."
If he does the second option, as in he doesn't reenlist, he gets out in August, so that is still by the end of the year he'll know what he's doing, and by the end of next year we (God willing) will have baby-on-board!
I really hope I'm not jinxing it, but I won't be completely broken hearted if he decides he wants to wait. I'm more excited about the fact that he feels like he's ready (or almost so) to cement our marriage with a baby... to create a new life with me. Out of everybody in this earth, he wants me. Cue the sob, you already know I'm tearing up right now lol. I can't help it. I've been really wanting to talk seriously about it for a couple months now, and it's like he read my mind. We're actually seriously considering it together, at the same time. I've already dropped that I wanted a baby numerous times before, but they were all light hearted. I haven't actually told him that I really wanted to try when he got home more than the little here and there "hey I've got an idea." But that was months ago... and I was the one bringing it up. Now he is! Uhg. Mind blown. Officially.
This deployment has been so much more productive for our relationship that last deployment. He was really closed off on his first deployment. He was a bit numb feeling in his emails, and we actually had a moment where I told him I wasn't going to email him anymore until he started to return the effort I was putting into the emails. I really don't think I'm going to have that problem this deployment. He is being so sentimental and caring in all of his emails, constantly telling me how much he loves me, and thinks about me, and misses me. I feel like he's so so much in the past 24 hours that I've been waiting 3 years to hear on such a regular basis. He always makes me happy, he's always been my world, but now it's like he realizes he doesn't have to have a wall up anymore. He can say how he feels and be okay about it, without ruining his Manly Man-ness. He's always made me happy, but this just really makes me realize just how lucky I am to have him in my life. He is my everything.
1 comment:
OH. MY. GAWD!!!!!!
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